Fred’s “Curing the Rainy Day Blues” Message


As we are about to go into another rainy weekend, did you know, according to a longstanding study, every 10 out of 10 creative beings says being creative is a wonderful rainy blues (🎶Baaa bannaaa baaaa ban…🎶) healer. Instead of focusing on the negative, shift your thoughts to the abundance of rain allowing for the opportunity to slow down, pause, listen, refresh, and renew.

Tap into your creative spirit today and this weekend. That frown can easily be turned upside down. So what, it’s raining. Venture out and do something fun and get some stimulation. Play in it. Walk in it. Run in it. Make love it in. Yeah, that too. Why not?!?!  And, then whichever you choose, relax and take a nice warm bath afterwards. Go to a concert, museum, restaurant, movie… Watch one on tv (smartphone, iPad, etc.). Pull out your favorite music and sing and dance like no one is watching. Get you a canvas and some paint and just go for it. Go buy some beads and the other jewelry accoutrements. Or work on/finish some other creative project that’s been calling out to you. Pull out a recipe you’ve been stashing and finally get to creating a delicious dish topped off with a nice glass of your fav spirit. Read. Read to your partner and/or children. Make creativity a family experience. Make it a love experience with some of the mentioned ideas which include cuddling and some good, hawt, passionate loving.

The point is don’t just sit and wallow in the funky funk. Instead have a Yabba Dabba Doooooo weekend and good time.
Shameless Plug Time: And, on June 11 you can experience and be inspired on how our artists tap into theirs. Please purchase your tickets today for BeDoLove’s “Women Who Color Outside the Lines” now at join us at https://www.facebook.com/events/1111916755525974/or http://www.BeDoLoveWomenWhoColor.eventbee.com. Have a good one. Enjoy! Love! #BeDoLove   #WomenWhoColorOutsideTheLines  TurnThatFrownUpsideDown MyReadersHappenToCoordinate SpeakOnItFred

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Unleashing Your Purpose – Birthing the Writer in Me

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You ever had a burning desire to do or be something that would set you free? It’s like God never failing you with constantly whispering your soul purpose in your tuned in ear over and over and over again. Waiting for that faithful moment you heed the purposeful call.

Since I was a young child, I had a desire to be a writer. And, as the years flew by into adulthood, I never lost that desire. I dibbled and dabbled during very far and in between moments of clarity and channeling. This consisted of writing letters, a poem here or there, and then Facebook posts filled with love, adventure, and inspiration. And, with the Facebook writing explosion, the desire burned more and more inside of me, wanting to be explored and fully birthed. Helping to drive this pen to paper movement were my many angels observing my gift and lovingly cheerleading me on to create a blog and/or write a book.

Almost 1-1/2 years ago (January 1, 2015), I finally made a move to birth that desire by pushing the publish button on my first BeDoLove blog post. And, since that exhaling and exhilarating day, it’s been wonderful blogging about my experiences with the purpose of ultimately inspiring others to live free and authentic lives. But, what I know for sure is that’s not where it’s to end for me. I know there is more to explore, so much so on my vision board I created this year, I included a writing component. And, you know what? Very shortly after creating the vision board I saw a Writer’s Beach Retreat that called out to me. I was clear that the Universe was speaking to me and I had to answer, immediately securing my spot before it sold out. I listened and acted instead of my sometimes hesitation which often results in missed opportunities that were presented just for me.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending a Vision Quest Retreats “Writer’s Beach Retreat” facilitated by Dr. Nicole Cutts and Maria Olsen. It was a fantastic experience exploring the writer in me with other beautiful and dynamic writers (many who weren’t believers in their skills when first arriving) all on the backdrop of the refreshing and invigorating Chesapeake Bay.

Writer's Beach Retreat 2016 2We were delighted to stay in homes or an inn in the beautiful and quaint town of Fair Haven Cliffs, MD, which was surrounded by Herring Bay. I had the pleasure of staying at Maria’s delightful, calm, and inviting home (this was also retreat central). She was not only an amazing co-facilitator, but she was a thoughtful hostess who can throw down in the kitchen, preparing most of our delicious meals.

What also made the weekend so special were the walks on the slightly chilled beach. We also participated in yoga and meditation sessions on the beach and indoors led both days by Nicole, who definitely has another gift and should be teaching yoga somewhere. Sunday’s recorded guided meditation (Tara Brach) focused on smiling, being awake and free, which is how everyone felt as the retreat came to a close. The entire weekend was a moment by moment Zen experience as we channeled the warriors (brought on by the yoga pose) in us.

I was truly inspired by the invaluable information, tips, advice, and encouragement provided by Nicole and Maria through their writer’s workshops and one-on-one coaching sessions. These two vibrant women are amazing and gifted authors. The bonus is I now get to call these two wonderful beings friends as well as the other women in attendance. These budding friendships created as a result of the many genuine moments of sharing and connecting during introductions, workshops, walks, meals, yoga, meditation, and s’mores (yuuuummmmm…). We completed the retreat motivated and on a natural high.

I was also inspired by all of the creative and intelligent WRITERS I was surrounded by. My muses were in abundance as they inspired me during the weekend to create and share a piece titled “I Write Therefore I Am… A Writer”.

I am so grateful for being led to attend the retreat, all I connected with, and for what’s to come as I (we) continue to unleash the writer in me. During the event, we all rightfully and confidently declared “I.AM.A.WRITER”!

This wonderful event was a reminder that it’s never too late for us all to explore and unleash the desires of the soul. I repeat that it’s NEVER too late to explore and unleash the desires of the soul. I hope you take the time to set yourself free by basking in the glow of your purpose and passions. God is whispering to you. It’s time to listen and BE! DO! LOVE! Namaste…! Peace! #BeDoLove #connect2urmuse

PS: My name is Kathryn and I.Am.A.WRITER!!!Writer's Beach Retreat 2016 10

Nicole and Maria are blessed with bountiful gifts. Check them out at:

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Can You Dance? – Sunday Funday Edition

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This year is about exploring new forms of dance. Last year was all about absorbing myself in my love of dancing to House Music. Remember my out of body Mexico beach experience at the Mi Casa Holiday House Music event? Yesterday was totally about stepping outside of my “♪♪It’s time for the perculator!♪♪” box and taking on the Waltz. I was told what we were doing was Progressive Waltz. It definitely ain’t your great grandparents Waltz.

I was hesitant about going since the first (second, third) time I was asked and finally said yes yesterday. The hesitancy was due to all of the preconceived notions one may have (let alone a Black person) centered round dancing the Waltz. Well, all of that was thrown out of the window (along with my trying something new fear) as soon as I stepped into the ballroom at Glen Echo Park.

When I arrived, there first was a 45-minute lesson. And, once the band (yes there was a live band which included fiddlers) was set up, it was time to take the floor and get it in. When the dancing began, I immediately took a seat wanting to first people watch. And, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would be asked to dance. Well, that notion didn’t last long. Overall I danced six times. Who knew? A couple of times I danced with the instructor. He was impressed knowing it was my first time. Shoot, I was impressed.

What started out with about 12 people taking a lesson, turned in to about 30 or more people once the dancing fully got on the way. It was a lovely and inviting melting pot of beings. What was really cool was each person I danced with had their own style/flow. This is true with any type of dancing and it was fun to experience it even with the Waltz.

But, the Waltz wore me out. Whoa! Every time I finished a dance I was out of breath. Don’t be fooled, it takes a lot of energy. (Tip: Always count so you can stay in step.) And, since it requires one to stay on their toes (I mean literally dancing on your toes), I’m waiting for the calves soreness to set in. That probably won’t be the only part of my body feeling the pain. However, it was truly a much needed and welcomed workout.

I had so much fun. I’m still smiling. I feel confident. I feel joyful. I feel love. Music, dancing, and touch are such powerful healers. It’s moments like yesterday that reinforce their powers and how they should be absorbed in heavy doses. I highly encourage you to go get you some. Even if it’s just turning on your favorite song in the living room, going to town, shaking what yo mama gave ya, and waving your hands like you just don’t care. However, as always if you can, get out there and try something new or something that you miss doing. Peace, Love, and Dance! It’s the BeDoLove way.

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” –Unknown

PS: I’m also on the sixth week of a hand dancing class. I told you this is the year of exploring new dance forms.

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Stepping Outside Your Box/Selfless Love

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First, I’d like to entertain you with the backstory. When I dine out I love sitting at the bar. It’s often where I look to first for seating when with myself or another. This probably came about for me the more and more I dined without a companion, particularly on business trips. And, then included those days when I choose to just be with me, whether by design or no one being available.

Bartenders provide company even if we don’t say much to each other. It’s like they are my secret appointed date. But, then what is true is I’ve always loved Mixology, so much so I received my bartending certificate some time ago (Why I never bartended professionally is for another post. However, I’m often appointed the resident bartender at gatherings.). Sure the bar area is all about the adult beverages. But, I’ve found I love the energy of the bar. This includes experiencing bartenders do their magic. Especially with the whole Mixology craze going on right now. It’s exciting witnessing the use of all types of lovely and interesting ingredients (i.e., thyme, rosemary, cucumber, beets, syrups, bitters, special libations, eclectic beers, etc.). It’s no longer just about Budweiser and vodka and cranberry juice. Although there is no judgment if that’s your thing. Okay, the foodie snob in me tries not to judge… Lol

I appreciate being able to talk to bartenders, if that’s my mood, of course (Or their mood. Nothing worse than a bartender that ignores me, if only for a drink, WHICH YOU ARE THERE TO PROVIDE! I digress.). Talking life. Impressing them with what I know. Getting suggestions. Being adventurous (I’ve started exploring Bourbon based cocktails. And, that’s been a stretch for me. But, I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the right combination of ingredients.). Sitting with a companion and having a conversation and enjoying the moment and the scene. Less feeling of being rushed to vacate the table. These are some additional cool things about sitting at the bar. However, not everyone digs sitting at the bar. Maybe feeling it’s not comfortable seating. Doesn’t set the desired mood. Feeling like it’s not ladylike.

Last week a dear friend of mine requested my company to go out for drinks. She explicitly said she wanted to sit at the bar. I was like, really. This because, it was delivered from someone whom, when we’ve dined out previously and I’ve requested to sit at the bar, they preferred not to. However, in an effort to show love to me, this time, she opened herself (and initiated) up to step out of her box and comfort level. When trying to decide the perfect bar to visit, it was clear that if we go somewhere and the bar is full we’d move on to find another that could accommodate us. This was another surprising declaration from my friend. As we drove off to go to one place we detoured because I thought a better option would be one of my favorite spots, Republic. Cool restaurant/bar, great cocktails, and the food is delish. Trifecta! Oh, and the customer service is typically attentive. These are all key components to a perfect dining experience. And, I knew we had to be strategic in our bar selection to ensure a comfortable and good time for my friend. I needed “Operation Bar Outing” to be a success and not a “See this is why I don’t like sitting at the bar.”

So we walked up to the restaurant door with anticipation, hoping there would be two available bar stools with our names written on them waiting just for us. And, they were. The cocktail menu wasn’t pleasing to oh risky one as the selections were a bit too Mixology for my friend, so it was the always on time glass of Riesling. I opted for one of my favs, the Last Word, which with slight coaching (a little on the sweet side please) was perfect. We dined on appetizers of pulled pork fries, pork empanadas, and shrimp sliders. Now that was some tasty bar food for ya. Oh, and let’s not forget the sweet tooth scratcher of the apple pie donut. Topped off by good and fun conversation. And, guess what? She had a great time sitting at the bar and is already plotting and planning for the next outing. SOLD!!!

I think of three things after this experience. First, we like what we like. This is cool and fair. However, sometimes we don’t know what we would or wouldn’t like until we try it. Preconceived notions, what our family taught us, or the messages we’ve received from society can tend to determine how we flow in the world. However, sometimes we should buck it, be risking, and step out of our often times suffocating boxes. Oh, the joy and fun that can be waiting for you when you’re a “Yes” to something new. And, it could be just what the doctor ordered. If you try something and find it’s not your cup of soothing tea, no harm. No burnt tongue. It’s just an opportunity to continue experiencing life, building your confidence, and obtaining a sense of you and who you are. Ultimately deciding to keep it moving on to what you do like (vodka and cranberry juice) and/or the next adventure.

The second takeaway is the importance of allowing others the opportunity to love and be a gift. We sometimes tend to think about what we can give, and not allowing others the gift of giving. This can require one to be open and vulnerable to receiving, which is difficult for some. However, that’s just as much as a gift, taking the focus off of you and being of service and present for another. It can be the most beautiful and selfless act one can do. Because of that moment at the bar and my knowing my friend was doing this for me, I felt/feel special. I felt/feel that I matter. I felt/feel loved. And, in turn, I imagine and hope she felt/feels the same. This is what’s real, true, and important to the success of any relationship.

The third takeaway is to respect people where they are. Just because I appreciate sitting at the bar, doesn’t mean others will. And, I get to respect and not shame people for their likes and dislikes. Yes, it is an honor for me to introduce someone to an experience they never thought of partaking in or feared. Creating joyful moments for others I consider a gift from God. Sometimes we all require encouraging from family and friends to move us from a place of fear to the ultimate joys of life. However, it’s not my place to on deaf ears, try and force or judge someone for where they are.

So today and ALWAYS I encourage you to do something new. Release the fear you have around people, places, and things. It’s about creating joyful moments one after the other, after the other… God has provided sooooooo many ways for us to explore and find our “sweet spot”. Also, surprise someone today and ALWAYS with a love offering showing just because I love you and you matter to me, I’d love to do this for you or with you. The joy you create and the smile and love you receive back will be priceless and continually revolving as it flows throughout the Universe. This giving others permission to do the same. And, that my friend is the BeDoLove way! Peace! #BeDoLove –kcb

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” –Unknown

PS: Shout out to Marla for teaching me and reinforcing these valuable lessons about life, love, and friendship. Thank you for being you. Cheers! ♪♪One hundred bottles of beer on the wall… ♪♪ (hiccup)

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Pause! Deal! Heal!

 

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When we don’t heal, we project!

It’s so easy to take our hurts, pains, frustrations, disappointments, etc. out on those who are closest to us. Projecting on to those who are in the line of fire of our long (or short) standing history of baggage we’ve unrightfully claimed. Especially directed to those who love and care deeply for us.

Your loved ones, coworkers, the postman (person), bus driver, supermarket cashier, barista, customer service rep, driver who mistakenly cuts you off, etc. we’re not placed in your path at a specified moment to dump on and be your punching bag. On the other hand, they often times are divinely placed mirrors for lessons, healing and love.  Not to absorb your subtle or overt expressions of pain.  Yet, we tend to play out some self-fulfilling prophecy when those we treat badly no longer want to relate with us as we now play the leading role of victim as opposed to asking ourselves “How did I create this?”

So I ask, what are you refusing to dig in and heal from? Who are you making yourself right to be (masking and pretending) while others absorb and inhale the negative energy you painfully and uneasily exhale?  Your pain will kill you!  Diseases will consume you.  But, what will suffer the most?  Your souls unfulfilled dreams.  A spirit slowly wilting away.  Loved ones and relationships that never peaked to their complete and true potential.  You know what happens to a dream deferred…?

It’s time to heal. I know.  It’s of you and in you.  But, it doesn’t have to be you, because after all it really isn’t.  You just adopted the pain and allowed it to take up residence and take over your made for love beating heart.  Trust, you are not alone.  We all have our demons and crosses to bear.  So I can honestly say, it’s never too late.  Help can be on the way.  All you need do is ask and be open to receive.  Open to heal.  Open to stand up to “it”.  “It” being all of the beings that didn’t love YOU!  Didn’t take care of YOU!  Didn’t nurture YOU!  Abused YOU!  Didn’t protect YOU!  Didn’t listen to YOU!  Didn’t see YOU!  They didn’t, but YOU are strong enough to take a stand for YOU.  Even if it means an ole school “Exorcist” exorcism and bathing in a sea of holy water that eventually beats and drowns “it” out of you.

My lovelies, we have faith in YOU! Hear me when I tell you that time is drawing near.  However, you’re still here in this moment and the next because God is still working in your favor to answer your prayers.  With that, I say to you, it’s time to heal.  Time to be free.  Time to let those you’ve taken hostage free.  Time to show up for thee, he, and she.  Time to be the loving YOU who God made you to BE!  Time to BeDoLove!  Namaste!  –kcb

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Grateful for the Opportunity to Honor Love EVERYDAY!

On this Valentine’s Day let’s be “Grateful for the Opportunity to Honor Love EVERYDAY!” What about love has YOU to be grateful today and ALWAYS? Please click and enjoy a BeDoLove reblog still so appropriate for all things in the name of LOVE! And, then go love up on YOU and a loved one. Enjoy!!! BeDoLove

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Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which of course always brings up all things of LOVE!!!  “Love is You”, by Chrisette Michele certainly comes to mind for me.  It is such an awesome song and message of love beyond the obvious.

♫♪ What’s your definition of it?

How does it make you feel?

Tell me what you say that truly makes it real

Kings and Queens, Philosophers have tried so hard to find

Tell me what it means to you dear, nevermind…♫♪–Lyrics from “Love is You” by Chrisette Michele

Today and ALWAYS I am grateful for love.  All kinds of beautiful and yet to be discovered moments of love.  Let me first clarify.  I’m not just talking about that mushy romantic kind of love (although I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that mushy romantic kind of love) which has one angelically gliding to the moon and back.  Or the kind…

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Your Life Ain’t for Everyone – Honoring Relationships 101

Humph… Your life ain’t for everyone. I repeat, “YOUR.LIFE.AIN’T.FOR.EVERYONE!” The reality is some people just don’t know how to shut their traps. They think less about honoring relationships and more about showing they know something which they really know nothing about. Because, if they were really in the know of truth and consciousness, they wouldn’t “run tell dat“. Being in the know would be, I heard and respect my friend’s/family member’s pain, hurt, frustration, disappointment, actions, triumphs, or dreams. It would mean being more committed to being there in whatever loving capacity they require as opposed to violating their trust. Silence should come from a place of even if it is not expressed, “Please don’t mention this to anyone.” I felt it important to express that because I could just hear it now (person in the screeching loud voice) “Well they didn’t tell me not to say anything.” You do know in your heart of hearts that doesn’t let you off the hook right? Right? If not, please tell your wanting to be right self to go have several seats.

I find myself when having conversations of a sensitive nature with certain folk who I am hoping are my trusty confidants, expressing the fine print for fear they won’t read it. Or thinking if they do read it, they will eventually choose to disregard as they get caught up in the moment of the “oooooo gurl talk” (you men aren’t off the hook because y’all can be just as bad). “It” being that unsaid respectful code of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams are safe with me. It’s like that chapter worth of fine print for medications. Basically saying if you take this there is a 99.9% chance you will die or at the very least lose your big toenail. Where was I going with that? Humph… Anyway! My point is no one should have to say all of that. It should be an automatic code of relationship 101, already embedded in our conscious subconscious. Meaning, what we share with each other stays with each other.

I’ve had to make a conscious decision to hone in on the art of attracting and acknowledging my ride or dies. The moment my best friend intuition and my inner Brooklynite Ralph Kramden from the Honeymooner’s kicks in and wants to scream out “YOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLAAAAABEEEERMOUTH! OUT…!”, I cease and desist sharing, because I notice it is no longer about caring. The real is there are some folks that running their mouth is a way of life for them. They can’t help themselves. So in this case, you have to take care of you. Remember that just because someone is family or friend doesn’t mean they automatically can be crowned as being one you can share your most precious and intimate parts of your life with.

So I applaud those in the business of being that trusting sounding board and the support that is required for your loved ones while honoring boundaries and the code of silence. To you, I give the slow clap. Clap… Clap…. Clap… For those who have yet to master this, it really is easy. Simply stop thinking about yourself and what you gain when you decide to go doing the “Ooo Ooo…” And, think more about the person on the other end whose trust you’re about to betray. And, if that’s not sinking in, just ask yourself, “Would I like it if ShaNaNA went and told everyone that I slept with my husbands’ best friend’s cousin during a conjugal visit when I was really supposed to be visiting my uncle who’s really my father?” Yeah, I didn’t think so. Or maybe you might not care. But, that’s for another post. Either way, knock it off. Work on actually being the supportive, caring, loving, and trustworthy being that you profess yourself to be. Come on. You can do it. I know you can. Shhhhh… “Don’t just talk about it. BE about it.” And, I’m out. Peace! BeDoLove —kcb

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♪♪Can You Feel a Brand New Day?!?! ♪♪

I’m realizing more and more that in order to BE and have different, it’s up to me to DO different. 2015 was a year of deep reflection which included a heavy dose of therapy. Yep! I said therapy, which was (and will continue to be) an amazing experience. Getting real with oneself is imperative to a comprehensive healthy living lifestyle.

As I said goodbye to 2015 and hello to 2016, I rang in the New Year attending church. I hadn’t attended church on New Year’s Eve in yeeeeaaarrrsss. As of late church has represented death as I’ve been to more funerals than sometimes my heart can take. I wanted to switch up the pattern of what church was beginning to represent for me. I was happy to have listened and been guided to church on the eve by following the specially paved road to what awaited me. In order to BE and have different, it’s up to me to DO different. Ringing in the new year in church praising God and my life, and connecting with others through music, song, testimonies, and the good word was the perfect first step of LOVE for me as I entered the year of 2016.

What was cool is before church I first went out for dinner and a movie. How refreshing and different, this also was for me. It was just what the doctor ordered for my spirit. And, how refreshing it was to be in the company of a loving and supportive friend. You see, going into the new year in recent years wasn’t in a way that I set myself up for success. It was with sadness. I was hopeful and had faith (thank God for that which helped to sustain me) and I would eventually have a great year, but it was riddled with intermittent and sometimes often occurrences of pain based on the choices I was making for my life. Fast forward as I’m filled with gratitude and joy to be in a different and much healthier emotional, physical, and spiritual space TODAY. I’m grateful for the lessons learned. I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue evolving which I purposefully set out to do in the year of 2015. It’s actually what I set out to do every year, but in 2015, I got gangsta with it.

In 2015, I knew my life required a serious shift. My core was yelling out to me “WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS ISH TO ME?!?!” Therefore, it was apparent that a heavy dose of self-care and self-love was in order. I repeat in order to BE different I had to DO different. By that, I got real with myself declaring I couldn’t do it alone. And, as I pondered what would be the setting that would resonate with me to facilitate (this isn’t my fist self-discovery rodeo as I’ve done plenty of experiential trainings) my shift, I was strongly guided by my inner voice to therapy. And, as The Universe would have it as soon as I declared therapy it is, I received the perfect therapist recommendation. And, although scary, I went all in (okay, sometimes there was resistance) to further self-discovery, acceptance, healing, growth, and change. I thought I was just going in with the purpose of flushing out what I already knew, but oh the things I’ve learned along the way. Sooooo many “aha moments” that date back to before I was born, to childhood, to my young adult life, to now. And, although sometimes hard to realize and talk about, it’s always been quite refreshing to process and take one more step further in my healing to my rebirth.

Interesting, though, as I’ve been reminded in recent weeks, is that the road to forgiveness, healing, self-discovery, and growth is never-ending. There are layers and layers to be explored and decoded. Triggers (whether seen or unseen) continue to greet me in a “you really didn’t think I was done with you” arrogant and surprise gut-punching way. I have my moment(s), yet I prevail better equipped to process my feelings and firmly exclaim you (thoughts/person) no longer are allowed to take up residence in my existence while depleting my spirit, stunting my growth, and stealing my joy. “Miss me wit dat.” And, “Grace” became my word of choice often whispering it to myself before and during those times when pain could have been the prevailing expression. I fell in love with “Grace” for it saved me many a day in keeping me sane and focused. I fell in love with “Grace” so much so that I’ve thought if I had a daughter; “Grace” would be her middle name. First name Brooklyn of course. Presenting a nice balance of funk and calm.

So I once again entered 2016 hopeful and with faith. This time exhaling breaths of lightness. Mission accomplished. As my man Ron would say, “Good job!” So good to make a declaration (what I promised myself in 2015), see it though, and reap the rewards to a revolution.

2016 is a big year for me. The year of “50”. I’m so excited to celebrate life among the living, as many have passed on. I’m grateful to be doing it in style and good health. I’m also excited with the thought of continuing to get to know and love up on Kathryn and watch her soar. She’s pretty cool and special.

Happy New Year my lovelies. This new year I charge you with healing, growing, and having fun while accomplishing it. One size doesn’t fit all, so, however, it works for you just do it. The world is waiting for YOU! You’re waiting for YOU! God is waiting for YOU to live in a way you’ve been divinely ordered here right at this time, in this moment to live with purpose and BeDoLove. Wishing you too an abundance of love, joy, peace, prosperity, fun and laughter, and a healthy emotional, physical and spiritual core. May you glide through life with love and light. I love you. ONWARD!!!  Namaste. BeDoLove  –kcb

PS: Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my http://www.BeDoLove.com blog. What an exhilarating joy it’s been to share my thoughts with love and transparency. I hope you’ve been inspired to LIVE and LOVE! Thank you!

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TODAY – It’s All We Have!

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This weekend I received word that another dear friend of mine transitioned. Cancer strikes another. With each and every loved one’s precious physical exit from earth, I am thankful for one of the most loving lessons/messages they leave and bless me/us with. I simply continue to be reminded that today and this moment is ALL I/YOU have.  And, for that precious lesson I am grateful.

I’ve heard folks tell me either they love and are inspired by my zest for life or they sometimes think I’m doing too much. Well, I learned long ago what it means to value life and love. It’s a way of being that came easily to me at a very young age. However, in recent years while sitting at bedsides, I’ve witnessed enough of my “only just begun stages of their life” loved ones courageously and gracefully deal with the diseases they have eventually succumbed to. I’ve been to enough funerals that I get it. I get the inevitable and much-needed message being replayed over and over again from the pulpit about what it means to LIVE life.

With this valuable lesson, I ask you (and myself), “What are you going to do “TODAY” to ensure you’re living the life you’ve always dreamed of for yourself? To live the life that you’ve been placed on this earth at this very moment to LIVE. Because, even for me, I know I haven’t scratched the surface of what I was put here to do and who to love. Therefore, I continue to put in the work of releasing fear and living outside of my comfort zone/box as I travel my true and divine path. And, you too get to explore and bring to life the beautiful wonders created just for YOU! Ultimately leading you to pure joy, gratitude, peace, harmony, and love, with every amazing accomplishment, blissfully fulfilled.

So I say today and ALWAYS to BE something. DO something. LOVE someone or something. Take a chance and dare to be YOU, because, it’s NEVER too late to BE who you’ve always wanted to BE. To DO all you’ve wanted to DO. To LOVE who or what you’ve always wanted to LOVE. And, with each and every way you honor your core and God, you get to be a gift to YOU. And, in turn YOU get to inspire and BE a gift to those who are waiting on you to breathe the essence of YOU.

“Let me tell you somethin’. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me…” –“Love Jones” It’s urgent right now lovelies. It really is. –kcb  BeDoLoveLIVE

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The Art of “No”, Clarity & Empowerment

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Recently I was reminded about what it means to be in alignment with self and Source in saying that simple yet strong two-letter word “no”. And, not just saying “no” but really meaning “no”. Let me explain what I mean. By this I mean, say you say “no” in a moment because it’s really what you want to say, but either you allow another to manipulate their way into a “no/yes” or you yourself talk yourself into a “no/yes” because fear or self-doubt overwhelms you. So what’s a “no/yes”? A “no/yes” is I really mean no in this moment yet I find myself reluctantly and painfully saying yes because I’ve allowed myself to get lost in something occurring or someone else’s yes. However, what I find is when I’ve lost control of my senses and a situation is not flowing within the core of my true and healthy desires by becoming a “no/yes” I’m left wondering “How the heck did I get here”? The answer to that is because I didn’t honor myself, honor my core, listen to intuition/gut, and honor God. Instead, I honored fear and oftentimes that still scared little girl in me. The little girl still desiring love and acceptance. Still searching for her voice.

The lesson I continue to learn is, it’s perfectly in my (your) right to say “no”. No doesn’t mean I love or care about someone or a situation any less. All it means is in that moment IT doesn’t serve me or the emotional, physical, or spiritual health of my being. And, IT doesn’t honor who I am or what I’m called to do or not to do in that moment. Hear me when I say at any given moment a “no” can certainly become a “yes” after an authentic shift is harmoniously in alignment to what is healthy to me (you) and all parties involved. But, what is first required is for me to get away from the fear. The fear coming from a place of when I commit to myself and say “no” it doesn’t mean the person receiving my “no” will love me any less. It doesn’t mean I’ll lose a friend. It doesn’t mean my partner will love me less and in turn not find me as a compatible companion and end the relationship. It doesn’t mean a family member will accuse me of not being committed to the family. It doesn’t mean I will lose my job or be deemed incompetent. It doesn’t mean I’m any less committed to the cause of a particular group I’m working on a project with. And, so on and so on and so on… But, what I know is if anyone did respond in a less than favorable way to me asserting myself with a “no”, guess what? That’s okay too, as it is not the end of the world. And, perhaps it could be The Universe letting me know who can and cannot respect the essence of who I am. Therefore, creating an opportunity to remove the offenders from my life or create a different relationship with them so that a healthy space is created for me to be. The purging can also allow for me to in turn invite those into my space where a healthy exchange of consideration is a common and effortless occurrence. A place where boundaries are understood and respected. And, from that an authentic place of respect and love, and not fear is built.

So I thought about something. It’s interesting how besides “mama” and “dada”, “no” is one of those first words toddlers learn and seemingly totally understood even at that age. Not “yes”, but “no”. You know when a child is saying “no” they get it and they mean it. Like “no” I don’t care for you to keep shoving that nasty pea’s mess in my mouth because I don’t like it or I’m no longer hungry. Yet parents oftentimes do not read the signs, therefore, continuing to feed the child while their bib is the only thing showing signs of being nourished. Here’s another example. Baby girl hates pink and ribbons, yet mommy feels it necessary to adorn her with such, even as baby girl screams and hollas. The misplaced all-knowing parent does not understand how they are not allowing the child to identify with self and their true likes and dislike.  Therefore, the child is not being able to live freely based on what does and doesn’t feel good or matter to them in that moment. To take it a step further, I sadly bring to thought a child being faced with a loved one wanting to commit a horrific act against them and through manipulation and fear the innocent child has been forced to lose their voice in knowing its okay to say “NO” and then tell someone. Is this where it all starts? As a child. (You know most things lead back to childhood). Where at that age of exploration we are learning to exercise our better judgment and control of who we are and what we desire, yet a being of authority on the other end is like no I know what’s best for you. Or they are saying no I know what’s good for me so I’m going to force you into alignment with my unhealthy thoughts or desires. And, if you don’t follow my lead you get the belt (for all you babies born before 1990) or time out (for all you babies born after 1990). Here is where we start to learn that our “no” doesn’t matter or we learn not to trust our “no” and question it. And, if we do say “no” we’ll be punished. Not be loved. Be diagnosed as the difficult child. Hence, going silent. Wings prematurely clipped. Humph…

Saying “no” is like working out/exercising. If you’re not used to saying “no”, it may not come easy. You have to put the work in and exercise that right when it meaningfully presents itself. Some days you’ll be too tired and won’t feel strong enough. Some days you may remember how sore and how much pain you experienced the last time you said “no”. You know those days when you just don’t want to go to the gym. So you’ll backslide. And, that’s okay too. You get to get back on your self-love grind the next day and start all over again. Work on rebuilding your confidence. New moment, new opportunity!

What is crucial is when you lose faith in your “no” and your power, first you must forgive yourself. This is extremely essential. (I will talk about this further in the next section.) Then you must continue believing in YOU. Continue trusting in YOU. Be fearless and continue having confidence in YOU. Continue knowing YOU matter. And, again, knowing if they love YOU they will understand. If they have respect in the concept of whom YOU are and of boundaries they will understand. Keep in mind this is not only about relationships built on very intimate levels. It can also involve relationships evolving around business or social matters.

The more I think about it, this is serious business here. I would really like for you in this moment to pause, listen, and hear me when I tell you this. What we may not realize is that every time we don’t say “no” or uphold it, it’s an offense to our core. A core that remembers. And, the more we dishonor our core, more and more we are weakened as that muscle continues to weaken. It’s like when someone breaks a promise to you. You know sometimes their transgression creates disappointment, hurt feelings, or questions of trust. Well, it’s no different for you when you break a promise to yourself. Ohhhhh you’ve never thought of it like that huh? Let me break it down further for you (And, me too, since it’s what I too get to learn and understand over and over again.). When you don’t take care and practice self-care/self-love, your core has the potential to cease to trust you. IT ceases to have confidence in you. IT ceases to believe in you. IT loses its power. IT becomes very slow to act till it can barely flex. And, then what can unfortunately happen is we try to manifest/flex what power we do have left in very unhealthy ways. Oftentimes projecting our disappointment and loss of faith in oneself onto others in the form control, judgment or bullying. Or we project our pain onto those who really love us the most and who are right in the line of fire. And, that ain’t right. Right?

♪♪ So what’s it’s all about Alfiiiii?♪♪ Simply, it is in your right to say “no”. Not from the Ego, but from a place of love, clarity, confidence, respect, and honor. (As long as I’m not on the receiving end of that said no. Lol) Have no fear because when your “no” is delivered with authenticity and respect, if the receiver is open to understanding your come from, they will respond with respect and love. If they don’t, that’s okay too. All you need to remember is that you matter and how you feel or think matters and gets to be honored. You get to be assertive by exercising self-care and self-love, and in turn empowered with your core knowing it is being nurtured and love.  Hey, this just leaves more opportunity for you to be a “YES” to YOU. Hmmm… “Being a YES”!  Sounds like the makings of a new blog subject. In the meantime, go with peace and love my lovelies. BeConfident! BeClear! BeForgiving! BeFearless! BeLoving! BeDoLove! –kcb

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