Your Life Ain’t for Everyone – Honoring Relationships 101

Humph… Your life ain’t for everyone. I repeat, “YOUR.LIFE.AIN’T.FOR.EVERYONE!” The reality is some people just don’t know how to shut their traps. They think less about honoring relationships and more about showing they know something which they really know nothing about. Because, if they were really in the know of truth and consciousness, they wouldn’t “run tell dat“. Being in the know would be, I heard and respect my friend’s/family member’s pain, hurt, frustration, disappointment, actions, triumphs, or dreams. It would mean being more committed to being there in whatever loving capacity they require as opposed to violating their trust. Silence should come from a place of even if it is not expressed, “Please don’t mention this to anyone.” I felt it important to express that because I could just hear it now (person in the screeching loud voice) “Well they didn’t tell me not to say anything.” You do know in your heart of hearts that doesn’t let you off the hook right? Right? If not, please tell your wanting to be right self to go have several seats.

I find myself when having conversations of a sensitive nature with certain folk who I am hoping are my trusty confidants, expressing the fine print for fear they won’t read it. Or thinking if they do read it, they will eventually choose to disregard as they get caught up in the moment of the “oooooo gurl talk” (you men aren’t off the hook because y’all can be just as bad). “It” being that unsaid respectful code of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams are safe with me. It’s like that chapter worth of fine print for medications. Basically saying if you take this there is a 99.9% chance you will die or at the very least lose your big toenail. Where was I going with that? Humph… Anyway! My point is no one should have to say all of that. It should be an automatic code of relationship 101, already embedded in our conscious subconscious. Meaning, what we share with each other stays with each other.

I’ve had to make a conscious decision to hone in on the art of attracting and acknowledging my ride or dies. The moment my best friend intuition and my inner Brooklynite Ralph Kramden from the Honeymooner’s kicks in and wants to scream out “YOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLAAAAABEEEERMOUTH! OUT…!”, I cease and desist sharing, because I notice it is no longer about caring. The real is there are some folks that running their mouth is a way of life for them. They can’t help themselves. So in this case, you have to take care of you. Remember that just because someone is family or friend doesn’t mean they automatically can be crowned as being one you can share your most precious and intimate parts of your life with.

So I applaud those in the business of being that trusting sounding board and the support that is required for your loved ones while honoring boundaries and the code of silence. To you, I give the slow clap. Clap… Clap…. Clap… For those who have yet to master this, it really is easy. Simply stop thinking about yourself and what you gain when you decide to go doing the “Ooo Ooo…” And, think more about the person on the other end whose trust you’re about to betray. And, if that’s not sinking in, just ask yourself, “Would I like it if ShaNaNA went and told everyone that I slept with my husbands’ best friend’s cousin during a conjugal visit when I was really supposed to be visiting my uncle who’s really my father?” Yeah, I didn’t think so. Or maybe you might not care. But, that’s for another post. Either way, knock it off. Work on actually being the supportive, caring, loving, and trustworthy being that you profess yourself to be. Come on. You can do it. I know you can. Shhhhh… “Don’t just talk about it. BE about it.” And, I’m out. Peace! BeDoLove —kcb

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  1. AMEN! Sometimes we keep so much to OURSELVES because we don’t have that trusted person with whom to share, it’s not healthy. We need to share, we want to share, we need to hear it out loud because sometimes journaling just ain’t enough. However, is it worth hearing it again, getting the looks you think you get when you think people have heard. The dilemma is real.

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