Hello lovelies. As I’m less than a month from my 50th birthday, I’m still faced with moments of conflicts and questions. Understanding that life is a continuous process of exploration sometimes met with hard knocks. And, having to keep in the forefront that those hard knocks don’t make me less than or define me. They are not the end all to be all. But, instead looking at them as blessings of lessons. They being opportunities to learn, grow, and be who I’ve always was to be. Trust, it sounds lovely as I write it, but it ain’t always easy to keep grace, hope, faith, trust, and love as my salvation when my life is fighting the currents of those riptide swirling gray and rocky seas. And, in the loneliness of my despair, I’m crying a cry that is seemingly coming from the deep and dark depths of a hurt, disappointed and unrealized soul where I’ve allowed my fears and unrealistic expectations to rule my life. Perhaps those moments could be a shedding of what was and what served its purpose. To the here and now in what will be new and catapult me to my next caterpillar to butterfly moment. Me having to grasp for continuous breaths of “Live Kathryn. Live!” air as I’m blessed with the gift to breathe, live, and love another day, moment and second with the enoughness of my total, perfect, and complete being.

There are moments in our lives where challenges will present themselves. Where you will question the purpose of your existence. Where things do not make sense because you may have thought or hoped “it” would be different from where you are right now.

If you find yourself at a crossroads in this moment, try not to agonize too much over it. Work on not beating yourself up about it. Trust you. Believe in you. Know that this is a process that can and will propel you to what is really true for you. You may need to release a thought. You may need to grieve a loss (i.e., loss of a job, ending of a relationship, death of a loved one) or what isn’t. Be with it. Feel it. Try not to avoid or push the feelings of anger, sadness, hurt, etc. to the abyss of made up nothingness all in the name of avoiding being vulnerable and facing the hard truths about life, others, and you. It’s best to firmly yet gently absorb yourself in the feelings now with the goal of positive self-reflection, healing, freedom and peace. Because, healing will set you free. But, through it all know and believe that you are and will always be enough. You are not the sabotaging and self-fulfilling prophesies you’ve made up for yourself out of fear of truly living and being your true beautiful, authentic, whole, gifted, and loving self.

I wish for me and you all the clarity, joy, peace and love your heart desires. I hope today’s (and beyond) experiences are those loving blessings you desire to feed your soul, spirit, and direction in life.  May you find solace in believing in your heart of hearts that it’s never too late to grab hold of and live your SOULFull purpose. God is ALWAYS speaking to and directing you. All that is required is taking time to be still and listen for the whispers. Also, forgiving, releasing the fear and expectations, and appreciating what is now. And, then move with the ease and all knowing that the unconditional love of the Universe is conspiring on your behalf. God and your gangsta angels have your back. They always have. And, you should do the same. Keep on keeping on loves. Trust! Believe! BeDoLove!  #FindYourZen #RebirthTo50 #SuperSoulSunday

What did you have for brunch? This is what it looks like when it’s brunch time and I don’t want to go out and haven’t been grocery shopping. Leftover crab cake from Busboys and Poets. A box of old faithful tried and true Jiffy Cornbread mix. Sautéed spinach (Threw in some garlic.). Homemade Cajun cream sauce with Slap Ya Mama seasoning. Only thing missing is the desired yolk drippings because I overcooked my eggs (Too lazy to try and poach them). But, still YAAAAAASSSS!

Life like the cupboard is never bare without possibilities. All you have to do is open your eyes and see the blessings and gifts right in your grasps. There is always a lemons to that delicious sweet/tart thirst quenching lemonade moment, waiting just for you to peel open and Voilà (Flexing my fancy muscles and not saying Wahlah). All you have to do is ask, trust, believe, listen, see, and act. Enjoy your Sunday lovelies. Peace! #BeDoLove #YummyliciousGoodTime #IEatToWriteAboutIt #FindYourZen #SuperSoulSundayFunday

A dear friend told me I was their “muse”. And, another told me “I am worthy and enough”. I thank them for seeing me. They don’t know it, but each time I was brought to tears, especially because this has been an extremely reflective time for me (let’s face it, I’m a Sag so I’m almost always in reflective/analytical mode).

I don’t take who I am or what I speak/write lightly. And, I am a work in progress regarding walking/being the talk. But, it’s nice to know that I have the ability to inspire for I know that is one of my main purposes on this earth. But, it’s also nice to be appreciated. It’s nice to be acknowledged. It’s nice to be GOT!!! It’s nice to have cheerleaders.

Have you told someone that you love them today? Have you told someone what they mean to you? Have you told someone they are enough? Let them know that you SEE them. They need to know that. Please take a moment to do so. Folks are going through it and you never know the heart you touch with your heart will be just what they need in that moment to know they are enough and to breathe and move forth.

And, regardless of what anyone says, we need each other to survive. BELIEVE THAT!!! Be a gift/muse today and ALWAYS!!! Be YOUR gift/muse today and ALWAYS!!! And, I love you. And, you know what? You are enough! You are enough now and forever! Amen! Say, no, scream with an all knowing from the depths of your soul “I AM ENOUGH”! Breathe! And, one more time. “I AM ENOUGH!” You truly are lovely. Now go be great. #BeDoLove #SuperSoulSunday

This morning as I was preparing for work, I was delighted when my phone rang and it was my brother Greg FaceTiming me. The cherry on top was when Greg panned to my father as they were driving through Brooklyn. This morning connection truly got me off to a great start with my spirit smiling. 

Me: (big smile) Where y’all going? Pop: I’m going to Atlantic City. Me: Greg taking you? Pop: No, your son (a senior moment slip of the tongue) is taking me to catch the bus on Livingston Street. Greg: (burst out laughing) Your son? Pop: Well, you know what I mean. Me: You going to gamble or play cards (cards meaning Bridge)? (they both burst out laughing) Pop: I decided to go on a whim. Greg: You sound like someone’s parent the way you asked him that (him laughing and mocking me). Pop: That’s why I said your son. (Pop’s clever comeback.) (we all burst out laughing) (We chit chat a little bit more as I finished getting ready and said our farewells.)

Video chatting is a beautiful thing when used for good. Grandparents get to see grandchildren. Parents get to see college coeds. Military families can connect from far and wide. Business trips and long distance relationships don’t seem so lonely and help to pass the time away. This week I was thinking to myself about using FaceTime more. It seems every time I make that declaration someone FaceTimes me. The Universe is always conspiring in my favor.

Connecting with each other in healthy ways are so important to sustaining and replenishing our spirits. And, mornings can be that perfect time to make loving and authentic connections. After all, you could be someone’s first “Morning Connection” that gives them the love and boost to get them through another second, another day. You never know who needs you first thing. Everyone has a story. Everyone is not fortunate enough to be blessed with a rising to a new day sun smile, kiss, hug, “Good morning” or “I love you. Have a great day”.

So be the beautifully unwrapped gift another my need more than anything. Right in that precious moment. Be the gift! Whether with a call, video chat, or even a text in this new age way of communicating. Hopefully, your bright energy will be infectious, and they will feed off of it and in turn be a gift to another and another and another. And, especially to themselves. Or you may be the one requiring love and connection and initiates the reaching out. There is no reason to isolate yourself and feel alone. You see how this works? This love game is so much bigger than you may think and it doesn’t require a lot to make a huge difference for yourself and others.

Let’s make it a fabulous and loving day and weekend filled with authentic “Morning Connections”. Matter of fact; make it morning, noon, and night. I love you. Oh, and “Good morning. You look amaaaaaziiing. Have a fabulous day”. Namaste!!! ONWARD!!! #BeDoLove #BeAGift #MorningPopTalk #MorningConnections

PS: I love the way by brother has Pop in the back seat, as if he’s getting luxury car service to his destination. Lol

There are moments in my life when I am abundantly blessed to truly experience something fiercely magical. Where my heart beats a syncopated song of joy while my spirit dances angelically as if on my own heavenly cloud designated just for me by God. Thankfully, they are divinely serendipitous moments that with me approaching the 5.0. are able to continue restoring my faith in love, life, and fun. And, I knowing that 🎶Fairytales can come true. It can happen to you…🎶 For we all require constant reminders that it’s never too late to give life to our SOULfull purpose and have it all. Whatever that divinely ordered “all” is for each being.

Thank you, Patricia and Renee, for being that blinging light of grace, class and elegance that’s disco twirled with heavy doses of funk and soul. When I would SEE you two out and about in the DC scene, you were those funky cool kids who oozed a fun, love connection I’d hope to one day be up close and personal to soak up. Fast forward to September 17, 2016, where I got to partake in the ultimate hangout and experience one of those fiercely magical moments.

Thank you P&R for allowing us all to experience the energy of LOVE and celebration I know the Arena Stage has never felt before as you firmly soldered your soul ties. As your performance was an in real time chapter ending experience with a sitting on the edge sequel to follow where you have already deservedly won the award. The award which is each other. And, it not being a staged set scripted with act 1, act 2… It instead being a realness and truth shown through the lens of love, integrity, fun, LIVING life, cheerleading, and being the ultimate level of the ride or dies our community (every single one of us and especially the LGBTQ) needs to see and be inspired by over and over and over again. You are our modern day supersheroes (Spell check kept attempting to change this. But, naaaahhhh I know what I’m talking about.) of love who in this and those next lifetimes, I would be blessed and honored to continue to journey with.

From start to finish the marriage celebration was pure harmonious perfection, so much so even the Chardonnay was delish. And, I don’t even like Chardonnay like that, but hey, it was free booze. However, each sip was surprisingly palate pleasing. Every.single.aspect (I’m clapping my hand with each word like we do when we want to emphasize something.) of the event created an awakening of all five senses. The beautiful people (How did I get to sit next to Kima (Sonja Sohn) during the ceremony? For a hot second I got scared looking around for Omar. Thinking, Omar’s coming.  Omar’s coming.). The venue (Who has their wedding at Arena Stage? P&R does.). The cocktails (Yo, the gin cocktail was my JOOOINT!). The decor throughout which included the thoughtful and moving love poems/writings. The table setting with the “these some fancy Negro” plates and “which one do I use” wine glasses. The foodie experience which had Sheila and I secretly plotting other’s “if one more minute passed” left alone plates. The movement induced music of DJ Lance which included a parting CD gift that breathes as if I bought it in a store (Wait! They really don’t have those type of stores anymore.) from the packaging to the selections. The complimentary valet parking (I’m sure you two would know the deal was sealed before we even entered the building with that heavy hitter move in “driving around for 15 minutes…” DC.). And, your Crème de la Crème SWAGGALICOUS (Renee had a constant cheesing look of popping collar WHAT…?!?!) infectious beautiful energies. All made for a dope free flowing Woodstock meets the District of Columbia like love fest. We were all goo goo gaa gaa that beautiful DC night, which has left a lasting imprint on our longing hearts and spirits forever more. It was as if you planned every.single.aspect (I’m clapping again.) of the occasion with each lovingly handpicked guest in mind. Thank YOU! HICCUP!!!

Since the wedding, I think often of Patricia’s profound closing love sentiments which immediately reminded me of the tissue grabbing ending scene of a favorite movie of mine, “What Dreams May Come”. So with that, I’m wishing you two goddesses one blessed, loving and spiritually guided lifetime after the next and the next and the next… And, my only advice is to remember to simply and always BeDoLove. I love YOU! Ashe  #BeDoLove  #TheRebirthTo50 # UnleashYourSOULfullPurpose  #FindYourZen

PS: And, then as I’m writing this blog, THIS high society piece appears in The Washington Post. Yeah, y’all bougie Black folk are PURE DOPENESS!!! Because, of two degrees of separation I have friends hitting me up after seeing this article and asking if this is the wedding I attended (because I can’t stop talking/bragging about it). The article spreading like wildflowers (I like that better than wildfires.) on Facebook as it appears on a friend of mine’s newsfeed whose friend is a cousin of one of the brides.

PSS: Although I am a lover of the arts I had yet to enter the Arena Stage since the new beautiful building erected. When I do decide to attend a play there (Support the Arts!) and anytime I drive by it, my first thoughts I’m sure will be of P&R and their beautiful celebration. Those feel good thoughts I don’t mind.

PSSS: When I went to look for the “What Dreams May Come” final scene on YouTube to include on this post (Yes! For the 10^th time I got full with emotion just watching those two minutes) the recommended videos appeared on the right side.  How fitting that Black Coffee’s “Rock My World” was randomly yet serendipitously one of them. And, then as I played that video the Black Coffee recommendation floodgates opened up with “We Are One“, “Someday“. And, my ultimate Black Coffee favorite, “Superman“. The Universe with its musical angels is funky and cool like that. Now, Patricia and Renee, you’re free to go off and DANCE and go crazy in LOVE!!!

🎶 When you move.  Our whole world turns.

You make me happy. I go crazy. And, you know.

You rock my world. You rock my world.

When you move.  When you dance. I go craaaazzzyyyy.🎶 –Black Coffee, “Rock My World”

Now that I think about it, in a dramatic soap operaish wedding kind of flair, I kinda wish Omar did come.

.

It’s time to truly LIVE and LOVE. It’s time to surrender by releasing the fear. It’s time to release those things, thoughts, or people that you’ve latched on to all for the purpose of being right and wrongfully secure in your present ego induced suffering state. It’s okay though. I know you’re scared. I am too. No need for guilt or shame. We are all humans living a human experience.

But, it’s never too late. You are always being guided. Trust in the ordering of your footsteps. Silence the misguided voices. Listen to and trust the whispers angelically delivered to YOU for the purpose of empowering YOU to forgiveness of self and others. And, then spring into action to ultimately BE the masterpiece you were birthed to BE. As a child of God you are deserving. Please believe it. Please breathe it. Please BE it. 

The time is now. Your time is now. My time is now. Our time is now for you are not alone. We can get there together. We can be free together. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Ashe. #BeDoLove #FindYourZen

“I am truly and humbly blessed and grateful for my life.” “I Am The Prize.” And, know and believe you are too. I am/We are deserving. So today and ALWAYS conduct yourself accordingly with confidence, grace, authenticity, a colossal sense of humor, beauty, integrity, trust, honor, forgiveness, and LOVE!!! Know YOU! Be clear, voice, and believe in your desires, hopes, dreams, and TRUTH. And, you will in turn attract to your life what you truly desire and what the Universe knows will nourish and guide you to your SOULfull purpose. Namaste! #BeDoLove #RebirthTo50 #WomenWhoColorOutsideTheLines

🎶Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you. If you’re young at heart…🎶 
PS: It’s September y’all. ALREADY! It’s going to be a lovely month and rest of the year. Enjoy your weekend. ONWARD!!!

You ever hear, touch, smell, taste, or see something that resonates with you so much that it sends awakening chills and affirms your ever communicating to you Soul. On this beautiful Sunday, I experienced a beautiful and melodic song/video of Stevie Wonder & Sting singing the profound lyrics of “Fragile” which brought forth tears from my longing heart. My tears flowing with the continuous longing for relationships where we know we’ve all had our experiences of disappointments and deep rooted pain. And, in that there is respect, compassion, nurturing, and love which leads to mutual healing for each other because NONE are exempt.

A swirling smoke released wish from the heart of another knowing that I am fragile too. And, because I too am fragile (again NONE are exempt) I see, I feel, I hear the fragile in you. And, when I say “I got YOU” you’ll know it’s true because we all deserve to run bare feet and be free in the vibrantly green meadows of flowers in richly colored bloom.

Today I humbly request of you to have feelings of compassion for another who in this moment is not able to see the light through their pain. To see. To hear. To feel. To nurture. To forgive. To love unconditionally. To plant your feet firmly before the beautiful made from God soul regardless of their many gut punches sending bolting, stinging, and conflicting “is this really love” messages to your heart of gold. This with the hope that one day they get IT/YOU and the punches turn into words, actions, and touches of love on their soft place to land because they now get themselves too. You only retreating if it becomes too much that you have to throw in the towel because your heart can no longer be subjected to another round for it triggers and causes your spirit to now die slowly too.

And, to those in the midst of the pain I charge you with letting the tall rusted bars that separate you from another and more importantly yourself, swing open with trust. To see. To hear. To feel. I repeat, to TRUST. To love YOU. To love them. To courageously speak your truth and articulate what you really need. This is so imperative for true compassion to exist. Because, only then can another understand and give from a place that will aid in bringing the bright beet red color back to your beautiful, deserving, and wanting beating heart. But, understand you too must stand firm in your trusting, forgiving, and healing to cease the continuous acts of projecting that alienates and therefore sabotage and breathes dragon like life to your self-fulfilling prophecies of “I don’t matter.” “And, neither do you.”

We all deserve to walk through this divinely ordered life with the gift of giving and receiving love ultimately setting and keeping us free. A freedom that catapults us to living a humane life of abundantly filled love, compassion, kindness, gratitude, and being in service to why we were put here in this moment, to begin with. Simply, be good to yourself and each other. ♪♪Lest we forget how fragile we are… How fragile we are, how fragile we are… ♪♪ Peace! Love! Namaste! BeDoLove!

RIP Ron “MF” Davis, Master Coach, Master Friend, and Master Spirit!!!

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Ron Davis, who was “IS” a beautiful, freshly sharpened and blinging double-edged sword of a spiritual mentor transported from the serene backwoods of Bali deliberately balanced with an around the way straight up concrete jungle New York City/Queens boy. Ron, that exact way of being is what had and continues to have me in love with the essence of YOU. The essence which secretly gave those you were real with, permission in knowing we don’t have to be pigeonholed into how it looks or being one dimensional. Being comfortable in our skin was the order of the day knowing that that we can cozy up, exhale, and luxuriate on our favorite velvety chair sipping a hot cup of soothing chamomile tea after a day of hanging out and cutting up with our homies on an around the way park bench guzzling a paper bag covered cold 40 of Ole E.

RIP Ron “MF” Davis, Master Coach, Master Friend, and Master Spirit!!!

When I think about it now, your life was short but boy did you pack a punch of purposeful living in those “no time to waste” years. You walked the talk of LIVING OUT LOUD with LOVE. So much so I find no matter the years that have passed, the feelings of loss remain. I still miss you. I still grieve the loss of your physical presence. I still mourn not being able to pick up the phone and hear your voice morning, noon or late night. We shared so much dope filled amazingness and life’s “Man, are you serious?” craziness with each other that a void continues to exist. I miss our one of a kind connection. That all-knowing, yet I still love you and will rock with you connection. You were my safe place to land. However, as I continue to heal and move through this thing called life, my full on meltdowns that swooped down on me with no notice because it’s still unbelievable don’t happen nearly as often. However, my continuous healing and loving heart yearns for your voice, your wisdom, your booming laugh, your “fuck that/them”, and your unconditional love.

However, I have solace in knowing that you were and still ARE just now as an ancestor. I am grateful that you loved me like none other. I am delightfully reminded of you through my spiritual enlightenment (you see your girl flexing), song, dance, laughter, and writing. In unexpected moments, I hear you laugh; I channel your house music leg stretch, wave, and tap. I strongly feel your presence especially when I travel. It is refreshing that I can always count on you to be my road dog. Sometimes even to and from work.

DC Caribbean Carnival – Somewhere Around 1998

I am stronger, wiser, bolder, loving, and lovable as a result of your many thoughtful and take no shit life’s lessons. Those lessons are forever embedded in my spirit so much so that I live, I breathe, I write, I BeDoLove. Certainly, you knew before I knew. With every word I read in order to stretch and become further spiritually enlightened, every word I write to express and inspire, every word I speak to share my story or help guide another, I feel you there every step of the way, guiding me, and giving me a soft smirk followed by that affirming and exhale causing “very good.” And, now my BeDoLove blogging is morphing into other wonderful areas that require me to be open and fearless all in the name of LIVING my PURPOSE and BEING of LOVE and SERVICE. All along hoping you are proud of me and my curiosity, creativity, movements, gangsta, and growth. Then I get a visual of your soft and warm smirk of affirmation, which has me to soft smirk back as my heart pitter patters with the joy of your soothing visit. It feels good when I feel your presence. I still attempt to channel you in those “what would Ron say” moments as I continue to navigate and be challenged in life and especially love. For you were my gangsta cheerleader, guide, and friend. And, I am now overjoyed in your unwavering presence as my Gangsta Angel.

RIP Ron “MF” Davis, Master Coach, Master Friend, and Master Spirit!!!

Ron, you see, your globetrotting legacy lives on as the many lives that you touched are doing amazing things and transforming lives if only to save themselves. I see so many beautiful visions of those you touched, blooming left, right, and center. The rebirth is real and being televised. Because the gift you gave was showing us all that we matter, have purpose, and can have IT ALL. It is so my friend. And, the beat goes on. Your tireless work will not go down in vain. I thank you my Gangsta Angel. I hope I continue to do you proud as I honor God and you. We all honor you as we continue to do the work, transform ourselves and the world, and “Live Out Loud”.

Stay with me Ron Davis. Please stay with me my Gangsta Angel. Your work is never done. Our work is never done. So, Kathryn Lives! We All Live! And, Ron Lives Still! I love you man. Keep visiting. I need you. We need you. RIP Ron “Mother Fucking” Davis, Master Coach, Master Friend, and Master Spirit!!! Bison Love! “HU! YOU KNOOOOOWWWW!” Ase! BeDoLove

The Police – “Voices Inside My Head” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V_rVaiveNg