I am not immune to the challenges faced as we walk this thing called life. A few weeks ago I experienced the wonderful blessing of turning 50. And, I produced and hosted my first solo radio show on WPFW-FM’s Inside Out Radio (Please listen to or share my coping with the holiday blues show by clicking on this link. http://archive.wpfwfm.org/mp3/wpfw_161129_140001lmpab.mp3). However, as much as this should be a celebratory time for me, there has also been much angst (I have hives to prove it.) for various reasons.  Of course my pondering 50 and what that means and where I am and not today. The many illnesses and deaths occurring within my friend circles and around this world have led to a heavy heart. Disconnect with some of my intimate relationships forms a void. The state of our world and the recent election process creates fear and uncertainty. Not only navigating my personal life, but also working through my professional duties. Ultimately, dealing with trials and tribulations during the holidays can take the funky funks to another level.

We often lose sight of the reason for the season. The holidays are supposed to be a time of good cheer, joy, sharing, and one we look forward to as a way of connecting with family and friends. However, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64% of adults say they are affected by the “holiday blues,” and nearly a quarter say they are affected “a lot” by feelings of sadness, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, frustration, or a sense of loss. For older adults, these feelings can contribute to ongoing depression, which affects up to 13.5% of seniors who require regular assistance or home health care, according to the Centers for Disease Control.  And, those in the LGBTQ community face undesirable experiences which include strained or none existent family relationships and judgments, or not being able to be one’s true self all in the name of being accepted and included. Combined with deaths, relationship breakups, work related end of year deadlines, holiday commercialization, how the media portrays the perfect family which really does not exist, seasonal affective disorder (SAD)/winter depression, and financial constraints, these can be additional burdens placed on each and every one of our already potential heavy hearts.

For my radio show, I invited Dr. Diane Kern (Local DC psychologist practicing for over 20 years.) to discuss the holiday funky funk with respect to the LGBTQ community and the community as a whole as this is a universal topic we all can learn, cope, and heal from. Her approach to therapy involves empowering persons to better understand themselves and acquire the tools to heal and make desired life changes, utilizing a combination of cognitive-behavioral and psychodynamic therapeutic orientations in her practice. Dr. Kern’s expressed knowledge and expertise during the show was extremely insightful and valuable as she fielded questions such as:

• What are the signs for one to pick up on if themselves or a loved one is going through the holiday blues? How can we help them or ourselves?
• How can one not included in family events (forced or choice), create their own meaningful and loving experiences during the holidays?
• If we must attend family functions where one knows they are going to encounter someone(s) who will trigger feelings such as anxiety, what coping mechanisms should be tapped in to?
• The holidays are so family focused. What are suggestions for relieving the LGBTQ community of the void and pain (i.e., no children, ostracized) the holidays present?
• If someone is out to their family and desires to engage, how can they navigate interactions if family members haven’t quite warmed up to the news or aren’t accepting at all?

Below are my biggest takeaways for navigating the holiday season. This includes tips to help keep life in perspective on what is most important today and beyond the holidays:

1. As my man, Ron “MF” Davis would often simply yet profoundly impart, “What you
   

   RIP Ron “MF” Davis, Master Coach, Master Friend, and Master Spirit!!!

   fear you create.” If you fear the holidays and think of them as the worst time of the year. Guess what?  They will be the worst time of the year. You have the power to create the holiday season that’s fun and uplifting for you and those you choose to share this time with.

2. Know the difference between being with self and isolating. Please don’t isolate yourself. Push through the funk and reach out to trusted loved ones, chosen those you can be most vulnerable and let your hair down with. Chosen those who may be going through a similar situation and you can support each other. Build your own communities, families, or tribes.  And, create new traditions with them.
3. You don’t have to accept every invitation. It’s okay to respectfully decline an invitation if the yes will expose you to pain, fatigue, break your pocket, tempts you to partake or overindulge in unhealthy acts (i.e., alcohol), or you just don’t feel like it.  Opt for creating experiences with yourself and with a healthy and like-minded tribe.
4. Not everyone has a loving and connected traditional family unit. Not everyone is emotionally sound during the holidays. Don’t assume everyone is in the feel-good spirit. Don’t assume everyone has something to do or somewhere to go for the holidays. Check on your people. Extend an invitation. The perception of a social butterfly might just be that. Folks are hurting and grieving out there for so many reasons. Be a gift to someone.
5. We can’t do it by ourselves. You don’t have to walk this road alone. You must look at asking for help as a positive and not as a stigma or burden, especially when you’ve moved from sadness to depression. Also, we must be the “no judgment zone” and stop judging or having people think they are crazy because they want to seek help.a.
   • We must understand mental health is real and treatable. This help can come from a trusted loved one, therapist (seek recommendations, search your health insurance list, visit your local mental health websites), support group, church or other spiritual outlets, or mental/suicide hotlines (800-273-8255).
   • Commit to forgiving your broken spirit and forgiving others.
   • Grieve and heal. It’s very healthy to take the time to grieve when dealing with loss.  Loss of a loved one.  Loss of the ending of a relationship.  Even the loss of a job.  Don’t try to sweep the emotions under the rug because they will continue to surface in triggering and unhealthy ways.  It can be as simple as acknowledging the pain and talking it through.
6. Incorporate a regularly scheduled spiritual practice to center yourself from the commercialization of the holidays.
   • Attend church. Pray. Meditate. Journal. Or even create an altar to honor loved ones who have passed.
   • Be creative. There is so much healing in exercising one’s creativity muscles. Do something you love.  Read, go dancing, tap into the kid in you with an adult coloring book, cook, bake holiday treats… Take time out of your daily rituals to do what you truly love.
   • Lighten up. Be kind to you by lightening up on yourself and others.  Stop being so serious.  Take time to laugh, sing, and dance.  Even if that laughing is at yourself.
   • Take care of your temple. Exercise, do yoga, balance out the big meals with lighter and healthier ones… Movement does a body and spirit wonders.
   • Remove yourself from your everyday environment. Travel. Take a day trip. Go to a museum or concert. Hike. Be sure to get some sun, especially because of seasonal affective disorder (SAD)/winter depression. Allow yourself time to breathe, exhale, and rejuvenate outside of your normal.
7. Share your gifts/talents, help someone or volunteer. By sharing your gifts/talents or helping others you provide meaning to this time of year and take the focus off of you.
8. Do not overextend yourself financially by purchasing gifts you cannot afford. You are not an awful person if you’re not out there purchasing the “it” items. Set a budget and stick to it. Sharing your gifts and talents is also appropriate here.
9. If you are in the LGBTQ community or have a loved one who is:
   • Coming out during the holidays is not a good idea.
   • Be an ally for them at family functions.
   • All the above and below tips.
10. Please be extra mindful of our elders. Because of changes in lifestyle, loss, and illness, the holidays can also be a difficult time for them.
11. I repeat, do not isolate yourself.
12. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Everyone, everything, and especially yourself! And, declaring love doesn’t mean you have to do something with or for someone. It’s just declaring a state of mind, heart, and being.

The bottom line is the holidays should be a time of peace, joy, and love. Whether you’re going through it or overjoyed, we must do our part to make sure our loved ones are included in the reason for the season.  Even, if it means saving yourself with an all-knowing that you are enough. It’s the BeDoLove way. Wishing you Peace, Joy, and Love! And, here’s to an amazing 2017. Namaste.  #BeDoLove  #FindYourZen  #AllRoadsLeadToMentalHealth

Catch my Inside Out Radio shows I have participated in at:

• November 29, 2016 – Less Holiday Funk and More Holiday Joy – Solo Show – http://archive.wpfwfm.org/mp3/wpfw_161129_140001lmpab.mp3
• November 8, 2016 – Election Day Coverage – Panel Show – http://archive.wpfwfm.org/mp3/wpfw_161108_140001lmpab.mp3
• August 30, 2016 – Various Topics – Panel Show – http://archive.wpfwfm.org/mp3/wpfw_160830_140000lmpab.mp3

To learn more about Dr. Kern’s holiday workshops and other mental health services:
Dr. Diane Kern, Ph.D.
Therapist, Life Coach, and Consultant
Creator of “Happy and Healthy U” Mental Wellness Workshops
“Loving Life and Living Well”
dr.dianekern@yahoo.com
Voice Mail: (202) 928-1522
http://www.HappyandHealthyU.com

The greatest lesson Craig Sager provided is care not what others may think of you. Do YOU in all of your outrageous, colorful, creative, lively, vibrant, and loving way. Many may not understand as they are color blind to the way your light shines. Still wrestling with the childhood woes of stolen or broken 64 count crayons of not being enough. They may ridicule and laugh at you. Even those who may matter most to you. So what?!?! Your essence is not for everyone. Your off the beaten path may not be another’s. You may like paisley and they prefer solids or vice versa. It’s only up to you and those who are inspired and blessed to get YOU, while also exploring and learning themselves. Not that we get to judge the naysayers. Not that others don’t matter. We all do. May be they have to be fed not by you, but another path or being.

So lovelies, today and ALWAYS, breathe life into your essence. Breathe life into YOUR SOULfull purpose. Be FUN! Be COURAGEOUS! Be PASSIONATE! Be YOU! BeDoLove! And, thank you Craig for teaching us this and many other lessons of triumph and grace. Thank you for being you. You definitely LIVED in a fun, graceful, and colorful style and fashion. May you Rest In Peace.

Lovelies what will your legacy be? It begins with LIVING OUT LOUD the #BeDoLove way! Namaste! Peace! Joy! Love! #FindYourZen #BeDoLoveYourSOULfullPurpose #WeNeedYouToSurvive #SweetSpot
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_Sager

Craig Sager’s Inspiring Espys Speech: https://youtu.be/6PKY_fmmN9g

Two very nice tribute videos:

-https://youtu.be/hSiQQRhlKAc

-http://sports.yahoo.com/video/remembering-unmatchable-craig-sager-203123187.html

He helped save Dennis Rodman: https://www.google.com/amp/www.chicagotribune.com/sports/basketball/ct-dennis-rodman-craig-sager-tribute-20161216-story,amp.html?client=safari

So you’re doing housework or looking for something and you’ve come across a brunch of unused gift cards and heavens gates proceeds to open up because you’ve hit the serendipitous jackpot. You’re all excited and you call the number on the back of the card to investigate the balance. Or worse, you make a field trip to the store to purchase something you’ve been salivating for. You’re ringed up at the register, swipe your gift card, and you get the shaming “I’m sorry mame/sir you’re an imbecile because you’ve just wasted free money someone spent their hard earned money on”. Then the same rush of emotions comes over you similar to when your credit or debit card has previously been denied. You in turn want to punch the cashier in the throat as a line of 20 other impatient late gift card shoppers are breathing down your neck and rolling their eyes. Or, you want to cuss out Bank of America when you call them to find out what’s going on because they got you looking like you’re a broke… (Kathryn has now been triggered by past events. Breathe, Kathryn.)

Did you know $1.0 Billion was wasted last year as a result of gift cards not being used based on their specified terms and conditions or used at all? You know companies are banking on this right? Yep, we buy gift cards as no stress presents and then they don’t get used. We forget we have them. We don’t read the fine print. Meaning, if gift cards are not used within a specified time (sometimes 30 or 90 days) the value decreases and continues to decrease.

Trust, I’ve been on both sides. I’m down to the wire to get gifts and I roll into the oh so convenient neighborhood supermarket or drug store. I am blessed by the endless carousels of colorful gift cards (Oooohhh! Ahhhhh! Humph… Bass Pro Shops… Cooooool!) to choose from. Or, I’ve been gifted with gift cards and during one of my big cleans or as I’m tearing up my place looking for the bonus check I forgot about, I come across a bunch of gift cards and I’m like YAAAAAAAYYYY!!! And, I literally do a happy gift cards dance. But, then I have a WTH moment when I realize the value has been cut in half or there is no money to use. Yeah, I’m that imbecile.

With this all in mind, I thought I’d share some helpful tips for the givers and receivers in da house.

For those too lazy to purchase an actual thoughtful gift:

• Understand this form of gift giving is a risk, because the card may never be used. It’s riskier than re-gifting that bag used to store cosmetics or the electric hand warmer. 
• Read the fine print on gift cards. Avoid buying cards with short lived terms.
• Avoid buying debit card type gift cards. They usually have the worst terms. 
• Buy directly from the retailer. They are more trusted. And, usually their cards maintain the full value with no deadlines to use by.
• Set reminders so you can remind the recipients to use the darn thing. Someone may think this tacky, but that’s hard earned money. And, plus we do forget and could appreciate the reminder. You don’t have to flat out ask. But, it could be a gentle (yet passively aggressive) reminder such as “Hey, what cool and funky item did you get with the Bass Pro Shop gift card.” And, they get flush red with shame and reply “Oh?!?! That?!?!…” And, you get all pissed off because it’s three months later and you’re still up to your eyeballs in debt from buying all those swinging carousel colorful gift cards. “You get a gift card. You get a gift card.” (In my Oprah voice.) Maybe, I should rethink this particular tip.
• Be creative and thoughtful by purchasing an actual gift for that someone special. That is, unless you’re a lousy gift giver. Or you’re absolutely sure they LOOOOVVVEEE Bass Pro Shops and would love to purchase one of those orange jumpsuits to hunt in and that will blend well with the fall foliage. My wish gift even though I don’t hunt. Ijs.

For the ungrateful, your money and unthoughtful lazy gesture means nothing to me receivers:

• USE THE GIFT CARD SOMEONE SPENT THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY TO GET YOU! It’s the least you can do as they are now up to their eyeballs in debt because of you. 
• Read (don’t ADHD skim) the fine print. Know the terms of the gift card to avoid not benefiting from the full value. Or lose out being able to use it at all.
• To avoid forgetting or if you’re saving up for a rainy day, set a calendar reminder. Make a note of the terms and deadline for the full value.
• AND, USE THE GIFT CARD SOMEONE SPENT THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY TO GET YOU!

Enjoy the holidays lovelies with peace, love, and joy. And, remember a thank you card (the one you actually mail) goes a long way to making someone’s day. Oh, and please shop responsibly. Peace! Love! Joy! #BeDoLove

I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING! I am LOVABLE! I am LOVE! I am LOVING!

BELIEVE it. FEEL it. Look at yourself adoringly in the mirror and repeat as often as required, because you most certainly are. I know it’s emotionally challenging for many at this time. I/we love YOU and need YOU to SURVIVE, THRIVE, and LIVE and BREATHE your SOULfull purpose! That goes for me too, as I am not exempt. Namaste. #BeDoLove #RebirthTo50 #FindYourZen #BeDoLoveYourSOULfullPurpose

You ever wear something that makes you feel wonderful, swaggalicious, and full of love?

Immediately when lovelies don their selection you’ll be instantly filled with the pure love and purpose of BeDoLove. You love more. No road rage. You walk lighter. You cuss, suck your teeth, and roll your eyes less. You forgive them and you. The world conspires in your favor with love and fun. You sleep soundly. I’m not playing. The many BeDoLovelies will tell you. Trust, they are like instant magic shifters when worn. 😉

Email me and provide me with type of apparel, color, and size desired (sizes may be limited). And, I’ll provide a link for payment. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you and your loved ones to have a swaggalicious BeDoLove Holiday Season. Love! #BeDoLove #FindYourZenPlace #HealingEqualsFreedom ItWillChangeYourLife Don’tBeTheOneLeftOut BirthingTheWhisper

For Thanksgiving, I got to work my magic in the kitchen. Being led by spirit to spend a nice and chill time in the comfort of my home. Which followed by me going all out. I prepared by Curried Butternut Squash Soup (among other things). I usually top it with prosciutto. This time I got real funky with it and topped it with sautéed crab and apples. Which was a hit. Oh yeah!

I also prepared a “Sweet Potato Pecan Casserole”, “Sausage, Apple, Cranberry Stuffing” (I made this for the first time.), “Cornish Hen w/Honey Chipotle Rub”, and “Spinach w/Golden Raisins & Pine Nuts”. And, a couple of friends were gracious enough to prepare the Macaroni and Cheese and the obligatory Sweet Potato Pie. I am about to get acquainted with the day after leftovers in 5.4…

Today I am grateful for breath and life. I’m grateful for the culinary magic I’ve been gifted with. This gift provides me with the magic of expression of love, uniqueness, creativity, and healing. I am grateful for the ability to share this gift with loved ones who get to delight in the love and YUMMYLICIOUSNESS. I love and am blessed to be able to share my culinary treats which are prepared and served as comforting and edible medicines enriched with the savory and sweet textures of love, fun, happiness, and joy. I am grateful for these skillful hands of mine and my five senses that work together to make the magic happen.

Remember to take time out of your normal daily rituals to partake in those things big or small that tap into your creativity. Those things that can bring much joy and pride to your spirit. And, can also inspire and bring joy to others. Peace! #BeDoLove #BeDoLoveCREATE FindYourZen #ICookToHealDelightAndWriteAboutIt

First, shout out to my beloved Howard University’s own Michelle Miller who conducted a wonderful interview this morning on “CBS Sunday Morning” with Trevor Noah of “The Daily Show.” Bison always show up and show out. Michelle we (especially the School of C.) love and appreciate you and your work. HUUUUUUU…!!!

Two of my favorite Sunday morning shows are “CBS Sunday Morning” and Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” on OWN. To be honest, I discovered “CBS Sunday Morning” in the past year. Both programs provide very interesting, informative, in depth, entertaining, uplifting, thought provoking, and thoughtful stories about life and people. They are shows feeding me with the uplifting beauty of life through grace. I learn from each program about the ever evolving human experience that I’m either learning for the first time or from a different and more open lens. They both offer refreshing programming feeding me mentally, physically, and spiritually. This in the midst of the many distractions that do not.

The human experience is a mixed bag of beauty and trauma. Trevor Noah’s story of growing up biracial (black mother and white father) in South Africa during Apartheid and also at a time when it was illegal to engage in interracial relationships is an interesting one. And, a childhood that could have taken him (and his mother) out from an emotional perspective if not physically. Yet, he has risen and is seemingly grounded as a human being, son, comedian, and talented host of “The Daily Show” which he inherited from the big shoes to fill Jon Stewart (Who I just found out shares MY BIRTHDAY!).

This morning as I tuned in to the interview, was my first time getting a brief glimpse into Trevor’s “🎶Do you hear me, do you feel me? We gon’ be alright…🎶 life. (Heeeeyyy Kendrick!) And, the excerpt (see link below) from his book “Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood” provides a look into the beauty of a strong family unit even when it’s not in its perceived traditional form. It’s about how we can be each other’s loving ride or dies. And, even in the most frightful and damaging moments we can agree to disagree, forgive, persevere in to greatness, and find the humor in it all in order to get through the heaviness of the moment. Trevor’s and his mother’s relationship during his childhood was all about moving through each moment with love, pride, perseverance, and fun. And, the book is to honor his mother and their relationship. Thank you Trevor for being you and for sharing your beautiful gift with the world. And, thank you for being a reflection of the love, hope, and strength of your mother who did the best she could when raising you. And, reinforcing for me that although it wasn’t always pretty when I was growing up, my parents did the best they could with what they knew and had, because ultimately they loved me and wanted the best for me.

Through Trevor’s story, I am reminded that life will be filled with challenges that can render me with sadness and hopelessness at times. However, the beauty in that are the relationships divinely placed before me that feed and sustain me during those uncertain and painful times.

Whether, with God, my angels, my family or friends who are now family, a loving tribe of ride or dies are essential to elevate me through the human experience one moment after the next. All with the healing of finding humor in unsuspecting experiences, which create gut busting laughter. And, with the all knowing pride in myself that I am enough and matter. A pride which catapults me to embody and walk with the love, faith, grace, and joy of my SoulFULL purpose. I wish all of these life components for us all, now and forever. Amen! Namaste. #BeDoLove #BornACrime #FindYourZen #SuperSoulSunday #WomenWhoColorOutsideTheLines

Here is the link of Trevor’s interview on “CBS Sunday Morning.” Enjoy. http://www.cbsnews.com/live/video/host-trevor-noah-on-his-late-night-show/

This is an excerpt from Trevor’s book titled “Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood.” http://www.cbsnews.com/news/excerpt-trevor-noahs-born-a-crime/

And, here is a recent “Washington Post” article. https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/how-trevor-noah-went-from-biracial-youth-in-s-africa-to-leading-light-on-us-tv/2016/11/10/6fdab1e6-a13e-11e6-8d63-3e0a660f1f04_story.html

About Michelle Miller: https://www.google.com/amp/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/michelle-miller-10-09-2013/?client=safari, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Miller

https://youtu.be/Z-48u_uWMHY – Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Stewart

The hottest ticket in the country is to the new and awe inspiring Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture. Join Blue Zaria from March 23-25, 2017 as they travel to the hip happening Nation’s Capital to partner with their DC host BeDoLove for a weekend of cultural, and culinary mind blowing experiences.

You’ll join a fabulous and fierce group of women as we understand American history through the lens of the African American experience. Let’s wanderlust in Washington, DC and share this journey of a lifetime.

For details, itinerary, and package costs (weekend or museum/brunch only options) visit http://www.bluezaria.com. Also, like our pages on Facebook and Instagram. #BeDoLove #BlueZaria #FindYourZen #WomenWhoColorOutsideTheLines
Blue Zaria (created by my Brooklyn childhood friend Tracey Hogarth-Mosier), a travel curator company that designs extraordinary experiences to nurture the woman’s soul, inspire the spirit, and celebrate the essence of each woman. Zarianistas, who travel with us, experience unique luxurious accommodations in domestic and international cosmopolitan cities.

BeDoLove aspires and inspires lovelies to live our SOULfull purpose(s) with an abundance of living out loud love, grace, courage, and fun.

Pop: What the hell happened? Is she still in the country? (The day after the election and she still hadn’t spoken to the public.) (Pop is laughing because we Boxill will find humor where humor can be found.) Pop: She should be someplace far and not here. Oh my God. Oh Loooord. Okay. I think what I’m going to start doing is stop reading newspapers and shit because they don’t know shit. (Yeah, right. Pop reads the newspaper EVERYDAY! As a child, I would have to often go out and get his paper. Sometimes the morning and then the evening edition of The Daily News and/or NY Post.) Pop: Aye yi yiiii. (The anguish is real when you yell “aye yi yi”.) Pop: All I’m trying to do is look at crazy movies (Probably old westerns.) and not the news. Pop: How are you? Me: I’m okay. Pop: How did the show go yesterday? (Talking about the live broadcast WPFW show I did on Election Day at Busboys and Poets.) Me: Oh it was good. I felt like I was a part of something with purpose and it served as a distraction. Pop: I missed it. I was on the streets someplace. I went to Barnes and Noble and got a couple of Walter Mosleys. He has a new detective mystery series. The detective’s name is Leonid McGill instead of Easy Rawlins. (Pop’s an avid ready and Mosley fan.) Me: Oh cool. (Pop is preparing for a trip and doing his trip errands. He probably also went to his store on Atlantic Avenue for his cashews.). Me: Okay. Pop I have a meeting about to start. Pop: Okay. Have a good day Me: You too Pop. Pop: Be safe. Me: You too Pop. Love you. Pop: Love!
Pop may have been joking, but I know he understands the seriousness of this moment. He just created a moment to be light in the midst of the nonsense. And, in that moment, hearing him laughing was a much required spirit healer and a “everything is going to be all right” moment for me.

Sure, it’s disappointing and discouraging right now. But, in the midst of the madness we all should find time to laugh. Matter of fact, giggle loudly and often. Your spirit requires and deserves it. We all deserve it. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. Just means that you’re keeping life in perspective and healing your heart that is grieving from the absence of those who do not walk with a loving and humane heart for all. Your lighthearted energy could in turn help to heal another’s grieving heart. And, they another…

With that, take time to feel, grieve, and heal. Take time to love up on you by partaking in things you love and that provide opportunity to breathe and exhale. And, love up on your family and friends who too require nurturing and encouragement. Check up on your people because many are going through it, even if someone is acting unaffected.

May God bless our country and newly elected president (pray for both often). May peace, love, harmony, courage, trust, grace, and forgiveness be unto YOU and us ALL! And, trust that with love, faith and thoughtful, creative, and courageous action we human beings will survive and thrive and come out much better as a people, community, nation, and world. We need YOU to stand in the gap in whatever way resonates with you! But, please STAND. Please LAUGH! In the meantime “Aye yi yiiiiiiiiii.” #BeDoLove #FindYourZen

True story. During this past summer I began breaking out in hives. At first I was like I better not have bed bugs or some ish I gotta call hazmat services in to handle (With those head to toe I won’t catch what you got uniforms.). The hives first started on my lower right side of my back for the first few episodes. Then moved to my right arm. Then to my right thigh. Sometimes in combinations. Then in triplets. I was like what the heck is going on. And, why is it only happening on the right side of my body. Theeeeeen it went into “not so fast grasshopper” mode and slid over to the left side on my ankle. Repeat all of that. Yeah, 🎶From the windoooow to the waaallll…🎶

Was it something I was eating? Something I was putting on my body? Mold? Well, not mold on my body. You know what I mean. Anywho, I couldn’t figure it out. Then I thought it could be stress. But, then who wants to admit that. We’d rather have to go out and buy a brand new $2,000 mattress, pillows, 1,000,000 thread count sheets, and that cute duvet set, opposed to admitting the mind ain’t right. Well, after several months it was not to be ignored and it was time to figure it out.

Well, the hives popped up this past weekend. Yesterday (Monday when the office opens), I hightailed it to my primary care doctor who immediately sent me to the allergist. At the allergist I was asked a gazillion questions, including about my sexual history, what color is my mucous, and what color are my draws. Then I had some things pushed up on my back to test me for 23 food items. “Make it not true, please make it not true!” (In my Maria from West Side Story voice.) Make it not be true that I’m allergic to Rita’s gelati, chicken wings, nachos, mimosas (that would totally ruin Sunday Funday brunch), wine, gin, fish, fried plantain, oysters, Chicago style popcorn, skrimps, truffles (the real ish I haven’t had yet that cost like $100 for a pinky size serving) or anything else that my palette enjoys.

Well, after poking my back with no results, what proceeded was the excruciating pain of sticking and scraping my arm (For real allergist. This is what you do? Stick patients with a needle and then scrap the skin off their arm. Not once. Not twice. But stuck and scraped my flesh at least eight times. I felt one scrap short of as if I was being tormented by a serial killer.). After all of that, guess what? Nothing! Nada! Zilch! Not a single thing to put a face to my itchy, red, spotted, and now ready to fight body. (“All my life…”) All that could be the culprit is stress. And, I can’t even act like that could never be it. “Me stress. Naaaahhhhh.”

Here’s to keeping it real. Folks think that because they see me boozing it down Bourbon Street that I have no worries. This past year has been extremely stressful and anxiety filled for me. Family ish. Friendship ish. Job ish. I’m turning 50 ish. Thinking of which, this premenopausal ish (That’s a whole nother level of hormone imbalance and emotional charged ish.) Black lives matter ish. Video after video of deaths right before my eyes ish. This crazy ass political landscape ish. Thinking about if some real catastrophic ish happened in this country, with my immediate family living miles and miles away and I’m here living at home alone ish. Did I say I’m turning 50 ish (premenopausal is the devil), coupled with not having a ride or die ish. Deer mating season and they are laid out on the highway ish. Slavery and how our ancestors were treated and how we continue to be treated like ish. Babies dying ish. Glaciers melting ish. Reading the ridiculousness of what people have to say on FB ish (Like for real. Who are you and where did you come from ish?). People dying all over the place ish (More weddings and less funerals please.). Loved ones sick as heck ish. I mean really sick ish. Like folks having dementia, brain surgery and cancer ish. And, I feel it ALLLLLL. The fear is real. And, in most cases I don’t know what to do or how to help. It’s a lot. And, the worst thing to do is numb out on it all. 

What I also know is, I really… No, I haven’t been taking care of myself. No exercising. No meditating. No core woosahing practices (well, I have been writing). And, to boot (Did someone say boots?), I’m at my highest weight ever. I’ve got to do better. Like a total holistic overhaul approach, which encompasses spiritual, mental, and physical wellness. Sure, I can lose weight. But, so what if my heart (still crying) and mind (still wondering) ain’t right.

Well, I plan to pay a visit to my therapist’s couch. Get some balanced eats from the grocery store and burn a bit more. Oprah and Deepak (the dynamic ooooohhhhmmmm duo) are back at it again with a 21-day meditation series on “Creating Peace from the Inside Out” that started yesterday. How appropriate is that. So I’m going to hop on that and oooooohhhhmmmm it out. And, I’ll start moving, moving it. Cause after all I do like to 🎶Move it. Move it. MOVE!🎶 Maybe, I’ll go try my body at yoga so I can work on putting my leg behind my neck (HA! Yeah right on the behind the next move.). I hear there is a nice yoga studio in DC not far from me run by a fellow Bison. 

The moral of the story is, you gotta listen to your body. It will talk to you and send messages in some form or fashion. Often the warning whispers will be to alert you to WAKE UP! However, often times we go into avoidance mode. The key is to listen to your body. Not listening in the beginning stages will only lead to serious illnesses that when it hits, it hits, resulting in it being too late to conquer. Most folks fail to realize it, but the body also sends you messages to let you know what or who is and isn’t working for you. It’s smart like that. When you fail to listen to intuition, then it has to speak another language it hopes you will heed and understand. This can be through a minor toe stump that leads to gangrene (Do people still get that?). Self-love and self-care are crucial.

The other moral of the story is, life will always present moments that can unsettle you and create fear. The key is to know how to manage the moments. Know your limits. HAVE FUN! Know YOU! Know when it’s time to protect yourself by enforcing boundaries or removing yourself from certain situations. Knowing when to shut down or limit your exposure to people, the news, or social media. HAVE FUN! Having confidence and understanding in knowing you did all you could in a given situation. Not beating yourself up when things don’t meet your or other’s expectations. STOP WITH THE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND TAKING EVERYTHING SO DARN SERIOUS! Knowing you are a Perfectly Imperfect Masterpiece. HAVE FUN! Be grateful for who you have and all you know and have in this moment. Attitude of GRATITUDE! And, again remedying yourself with heavy doses of self-love and self-care. Find your zen(s) in the midst of the madness. You may be required to have the courage to make some difficult decisions. 🎶Stop the love you save may be your own…🎶 Because, how in the world can you be a source of love to anyone else when you’re not firmly grounded in yourself. This time and moment is all we got. Love it. Love and take care of YOU. HAVE FUN! And, don’t boo, VOTE! Peace. And, Namaste mofo’s (inside joke or naaaaahhhh).

For real, for real 🎶It is his will that every need be supplied. You are important to me. I need you to survive…🎶 Self-love! Self-care! Spiritually! Mentally! Physically! #BeDoLove #FindYourZen #TheRebirthTo50

PS: Now I need to find out what this oozy yellow thing coming out from my… And, where is my fan.