"You must be willing to let go of the life we planned... so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell
Who are you? What do you love? What is your "life's purpose"? What are you passionate about? What is sacred to you?
Who Am I?
Hey there loves! I'm finally here, present, and accounted for. Who am I? Well, I've been described as an "emancipated woman", "paradox", and "the DC Zagat Princess". Sure these descriptions paint a nice picture of who I am, but I continue to question myself often with the five questions I started off with. I know there is so much more that my soul is guiding me to in order to be a contribution and an extraordinary being if only I would just listen, allow myself to be guided by my soul, and then act accordingly.
Telling myself or better yet listening for the truth hasn't always been easy. But, the cool thing is I've never ceased to stop having a thirst to learn regardless of the hard lessons and truths learned about myself and life. Because at the end of the day for me it ALWAYS comes back to "what is my life's purpose?". I decided it's to "Be" all that I can be by being a gift and inspiration to myself and the world. Just "Be" with no fear, no worry of judgement or how it looks. "Do" and create all that I can possibly "Do" in order to experience complete joy and peace so that I give others permission to "Do" the same. And, "Love", "Love", "Love"! "Love" is the ultimate common denominator of life. Without unconditional love (I'm still a work in progress in this area) for self, others, and life overall you will continue to experience a difficult and oftentimes unfulfilled journey. The opposite of "Love" is "Fear". Well it's time to choose. And, I'm choosing "Love" because it has already chosen me.
Time to Be About It
One way I've FINALLY decided to BeDoLove and live my "life's purpose" is to create this blog. My quiet dream (I have many) has been my writing. It is one of my greatest gifts of expression that I am grateful for and one that many loved ones (including my soul and soulmates) have told me time and time again that they enjoy and have said "You should start a blog" or "You should write a book".
Life is But a Dream Lived
I am an open and adventurous lover of life and now with this blog I truly get to be consistent with writing (I might need an accountability partner from time to time) and share my inner spiritual thoughts (maybe some poetry too) with you and balance it out with delicious food experiences, adventure, and fun.
People are amazing. And, this world we live in is truly amazing. I believe that you can have "falling in love" moments with life over and over and over again when we are open to experiencing it through living out our dreams and desires. One of my favorite quotes is "When was the last time you did something for the first time."
Life just won't be totally perfect, but we can have many perfect experiences. I haven't always followed my true path, but it's never too late to turn it around and truly dance to the amazing thumping beat of my own rhythmically flowing and freeing drum. We only have this life to live. I invite you to subscribe to my blog and follow me (and invite others) on this journey with the hope of me breathing life to my ever expanding thoughts and inevitably inspiring you to do the same. Let's go BeDoLove! ONWARD!!! KCB
Dedication to Those Who Have Inspired and Believed in Me
This blog is dedicated to my dear friend and spiritual guide Ron "MF" D. who transitioned on to another space and time. It's also dedicated to my beautiful friend Margo who too transitioned on. They were (and continue to be as my angels) two of my biggest cheerleaders in life and allowed me to be and who both I know would love this blog (I invite them to stop through). This is also dedicated to each and every one of you who have said to me "You should start a blog!" Finally I'm listening and overcoming fear. Thank you all for not giving up on me. Thank you Mother, Father, God, The Universe!
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Iβve always wanted to prepare a dish with polenta. I finally purchased some brainstorming on my first dish with lamb. Well, I had a bag of shrimp in the freezer and voila. We have a spin on Shrimp & Grits instead with Polenta Cakes. The shrimp is made with Cajun seasoning (Slap Yo Mama and others), onions, bell peppers, shiitake mushrooms, tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, bacon mmm…, half & half, tomato paste, and Parmesan cheese. It may have more ish… π€·π½ββοΈ
The main course was accompanied by Spinach w/Golden Raisins, Shitake Mushrooms, Onions, etc. – One of my signature dishes, which I love for its sweet and savory spin.
Video of the culinary creations.
And, my sip of choice is a Bourbon Spiced Pear Brunch Punch.
Self-care and self-love are necessary for your physical and mental health, especially in these pandemic streets. So yesterday I did a swaggy thing during the beautiful first day of Spring. And, Iβm feeling myself with a πΆnew attitude.πΆ
Vonetta, Owner of Signature Image SalonCarolyn taking care of me.
Remember my DIY Cleo-Covid braids post? π€ͺWell my dear friend Rosa immediately called and was like βheck nah sis!β Followed by her rounding up two of our TBS sistersβ Kathryn and Tyra for love offerings. And, next thing you know I had money from each of them in CashApp. Because they really didnβt have to do that, a friend asked if was going to accept it. I was like, βYEAH! Theyβre gifts that Iβm blessed and grateful for.β This just means I get to pay it forward. So thank you SisTAUs for a good belly laugh and for hooking up ya gurl. Mission accomplished.
Video 1 of it going down. Video 2 of it going down.
Fast forward to almost a month later from my DIY post, first thing yesterday morning my hair person extraordinaire Vonetta of Signature Image Salon (where I go for all of my natural hair care needs) called and invited me to have my braids done by Carolyn. And, because Iβm comfortable in her shop, off I went with first stopping to buy hair π³. I choose the Stitched Braids style because I thought they would look cute. And, they doooooo. Thank you Carolyn for having pride in your work and doing a great job. And, Vonetta thank you for your continued exceptional customer service with reaching out, supporting your stylists (Until now Vonettaβs the only person thatβs touched my hair in YEARS!), checking in afterwards, and for offering a comfortable and safe space with my first braids experience. Oh, and the shop renovations look wonderful. Enjoy the flowers that you are so deserving of. I know this past year has been extremely challenging. And, youβve navigated it with grace and style.
Neat hair holder thingy. Iβm
Springβs like, “I got this Winter your work is done, my turn.” Today we are once again greeted to the newness of Spring with birds chirping and a beautiful and sunny blue sky. The birds sound so sweet and beautiful, singing gently with the message for us all of “New (Look) Moment New Opportunity!β Take time to do something good for YOU in this new rebirthing season. Allowing hope, faith, and love to be your guides. Pause! Breathe Deeply! Exhale Long! Repeat! Enjoy! Namaste Loves! PS: I got my scarf and olive oil spray cause these babies gonna last long time. π€·π½ββοΈπ PSS: I missed walking in with my new hair style and Pop going βOOOHHHH!β RIP Pop!
βWhen was the last time you did something for the first time?β β unknown
Tiger Fork (a contemporary Hong Kong kitchen) has one of the best fried rice dishes Iβve had. The texture of the rice reminds me almost of sticky rice, but not too sticky. And, the flavor is explosive. Everything I ordered was delicious, but I canβt stop thinking about the fried rice. Truly a satisfying Friday βTreat Night.βFirst time caller and Iβll definitely be back.
Iβm too far for delivery so I did a pick up. The crazy thing is the restaurant is located in DC in an alley, which is across the street from my very first N Street, NW apartment after graduating from Howard.
Smashed Cucumber Salad (garlic, chili, sesame) – This dish is not your normal your cucumber salad.
Crab Rangoon Nachos (lump crab meat, chili cream cheese, sweet and sour sauce, scallions, fried wonton chips)
The Backstory:
Prior to Pop living with me, I practiced a special pleasure ritual that if I wasnβt out and about on a Friday night, it was my βtreat night.β Meaning Iβd pick up or have something really satisfying delivered to indulge in the comfort of my home while exhaling from the work week.
Well, it took Pop no time to take great joy in βtreat night.β Of course he didnβt shy away from throwing out his random food cravings. And, I did my best to balance and honor his requests as well as my out of the box palate. It was cute when Iβd serve Pop and heβd excitedly sing πΆTreeeeat!πΆ Followed by, βCan I have a drink, please?β π₯ But, donβt let me skip βtreat nightβ as he seemed to anticipate it more than me. Pop would say βNo treat night?β At times Iβd give him that side eye look, thinking heβs so spoiled. However, I enjoyed and was grateful for this special me time turning into our time. But, guess what? I get to continue spoiling me, especially during this healing grieving time. And, hopefully youβre taking time to love up on you in whatever way you desire.
Pop having a Big Mac Attack.
Well treat night isnβt the same without Pop. But, now I get to enjoy it with pleasant thoughts of him. I can still hear Pop singing πΆTreeeeat!πΆ
While I miss the energy of restaurants and sliding up to a bar stool to chill, dine, and bartender watch, I love how during the pandemic restaurants have pivoted in ways that I still get to enjoy the dining out experience in a different yet still tasty way. Iβm still having fun researching, exploring, and being introduced to some great spots.
Pop is having a Big Mac attack. π€£ RIP Pop! πππΎπ
Prior to Pop living with me, I practiced a special pleasure ritual that if I wasnβt out and about on a Friday night, it was my βtreat night.β Meaning Iβd pick up or have something really satisfying delivered to indulge in the comfort of my home while exhaling from the work week.
Well, it took Pop no time to take great joy in βtreat night.β Of course he didnβt shy away from throwing out his random food cravings. And, I did my best to balance and honor his requests as well as my out of the box palate. It was cute when Iβd serve Pop and heβd excitedly sing πΆTreeeeat!πΆ Followed by, βCan I have a drink?β π₯ But, donβt let me skip βtreat nightβ as he seemed to anticipate it more than me. Pop would say βNo treat night?β At times Iβd give him that side eye look, thinking heβs so spoiled. However, I enjoyed and was grateful for this special me time turning into our time. But, guess what? I get to continue spoiling me, especially during this healing grieving time. Most will say βLove up on and do something special for someone on this Valentineβs weekend.β Perhaps that someone is YOU today and ALWAYS!
Gnocchi Bolognese (Ground Veal and Beef, Ricotta, Basil)
Seared Scallops (Blood Sausage, Kale and White Bean Ragout, Chimichurri)
Blueberry Cheesecake (Our classic cheesecake infused with blueberries and a graham cracker crust.)
And, because veggies matter, I added on a side of Southern Braised Kale (Kale braised with bacon, onions, garlic, apple cider vinegar and brown sugar).
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First time caller and Iβll definitely be back. Oh, and the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies… π Mmmmmm… Bon Appetit! Enjoy! RIP Pop! πππΎπ Cheers! #BeDoLove #PopThoughts #FridayTreatNight #SelfCareMatters #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud #BeDoLoveSAVOR #BonAppetit #Yummylicious #Yummyliciousness #Foodie #FoodieLife #FoodPorn #ExpandYourPalate #TasteDC #DCFoodie #BakersDaughtersDC #OffTheBeatenPath #DMV
Image from article: Pure Magic: The Oral History of Princeβs Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show
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I love Prince backstories. If nothing else for the visuals of him for example in a yellow canary suit gliding in his posh luxury home on sneaker skates that light up with big time executives looking on. Prince captured the art of how to f*k with people in a fun and intellectual way.
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Going down the rabbit hole starting with the backstory of Princeβs 2007 Super Bowl XLI halftime performance was worth every bit of my time as it gave me entertaining chills. It was the first super bowl played in the rain and Prince werked it OUT! With all that went down that day (including the cable story), you have to know that was nothing but a beautiful and magical God and Prince collaboration.
-We learn that Black Lives Matter in the music world related to the practice rehearsal. Arzate: He was upset about the sound. And part of that was, Prince is really very cognizant of how black performers are treated. And he always has a slightβnot a big oneβparanoia that someoneβs gonna mess with the sound and make him look bad.
-Coplin: I had grown up in Miami. It was just unheard of to have a driving rainstorm in February.
-Arzate: βWe can always pretend that youβre singingβ and have everything off and just play the track. And Prince was like, βIβm Prince, Iβm gonna play live.β
-Berry: He comes out on the stage and he has this do-rag wrapped around his head. And Iβm like, βOh, my God! Heβs covered up my hair.β
-Mischer: βThis actually looks incredible. This could be a blessing in disguise.β Mist was dripping across the stage, creating this ethereal mood. Drops of water began to create stars on the lenses.
-Berry: People ask me, βWas there an umbrella on the stage? How did he not get wet?β I said, βThat man was pure magic.β He was one that could dance underwater and not get wet.
-Visser: I would say it was the greatest 12-minute, mystical, magical halftime.
-Arzate: You could tell he was very happy with his performance. I was like, βYou made history.β And he was like, βI always make history.β
I especially loved seeing drum extraordinaire, Howard University βShowtimeβ Bison, and my SisTAU of Tau Beta Sigma National Honorary Band Sorority, Cora Coleman highlighted in the Super Bowl article.
Cora Coleman (drums): He (Prince) was a global icon and had the choice of anyone in the world to share this moment with, but he allowed me to be his heartbeat. Itβs an honor that will always resonate with me. We were so used to being together like a family and rehearsing countless hours, that anxiety was replaced with heartfelt respect and gratitude. The impact was undeniable.
Well thank you Prince for the beautiful and entertaining memories. They are so fun and eye opening. We love and miss YOU! Enjoy! Peace!
PS: Whoβs even performing for this Super Bowl? π€·π½ββοΈ Yeah, Iβm totally disconnected from football, especially since… Well you know. #Prince #BeDoLove #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud #BirthAndLiveYourSoulFULLPurpose
πΆWhen I wake up in the morning, love…πΆ While I crave a sunrise and sunset beach side chill far, far away, Iβm so grateful to experience this morningβs sunrise right from my hood. Did you also experience it? I sure hope so.
Friday, January 15, 2021
As his time drew near, it seemed that Pop began to see and experience people, places and things through an almost childlike in awe and wonderment kind of way. Like he knew he didnβt have time to waste on superficial things (With the exception of 45.). With that, he often could be heard saying/singing βThatβs πΆaaaamaaaazingπΆ.β It was so cute and inspiring to experience his singing of the phrase as if he was for example experiencing something in politics, sports, music, nature, healthcare, food, etc. for the first time or just through a different open to receiving lens.
From our sixth floor window, Pop discovered the beauty and joy of watching sunsets, sunrises, or just to breathe and take in the beautiful trees and nature. On his way to and from the kitchen oftentimes he would pause and either stand or kneel on the couch to enjoy the sun, trees, birds, deer, or even locate my car in the parking lot. Hereβs a video recorded Saturday, May, 9, 2020. https://youtu.be/Z6O3FeLoxOA
Saturday, May 9, 2020
This morning I awakened to capture this beautiful sunrise, that I get to give all honor and glory to God and Pop with. Iβm reminded and I hope you are too, that even in the midst of it all to pause and smell the roses. Like really pause, take notice of the beauties of this world, while taking deep healing and rejuvenating breaths that open up your heart to pumping freely with love, joy, and sweet Pop like giggles. To allow your inner child the opportunity to feed your soul and spirit. To: Believe! Breathe! Inhale! Exhale! Love! See! Feel! Heal! Love! Cry! Laugh! Voice! Listen! Connect! Engage! Forgive! Shift! Empathize! Love! Ask! Manifest! Gift! Receive! Activate! Create! Dream! Explore! Rebirth! Strive! Glide! Wake! Sleep! Nap! Relax! Rest! Laugh! Love! Pray! Meditate! Gratitude! Purposeful! Luxuriate! Dance! Sing! Trust! Touch! Taste! Laugh! Love!… (Fill in the blanks.) As Pop would say, “Have a good day. Be safe. Don’t work too hard. Love!” Be blessed. Be grateful. Be safe. Be well. Enjoy. Peace. Live. Love. #BeDoLove #Sunrise #SunriseZen #Sunset #SunriseSunsets #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud #LiveAndBreatheYourSoulFULLPurpose #CareGiversMatter #CareGiver #CareGivers
Once a upon a time my visits to the grocery store were quite infrequent. With Popβs arrival my weekly ritual became Saturday grocery shopping. Prior to that weekdays were for errands and Saturdayβs were for sleeping in and leading a life of leisure with doing whatever I did or didnβt want to do. πππ I hadnβt been to the grocery store since a week prior to Pop’s passing. Well, today was my first time. Since I needed to go out for an appointment, I decided to maximize my time and not to wait for Saturday. Seems a little surreal only shopping for me. But, I did well with not bursting into tears all over the shopping cart and groceries. And, if I had, oh well. Itβs just par for the course as every moment is its unique moment. πππ I thank Pop and am grateful for his presence and having me to consider healthier choices not only for him (which was very important to keep him up and going) but also for me. And, it was also easier on the pockets with less eating out for the both of us. I also appreciated having a purposeful routine that got me out to soak up some sun and breathe fresh air during these COVID times. Well, hereβs to new normals and taking care of Kathryn. Itβs a good habit to hold on to. Not sure about those Saturday errands tho. IJS! π€·π½ββοΈ Peace! PS: I was too lazy to go back upstairs to get my recyclable grocery bags. Something I also got good at to preserve the environment and rid myself of the shopping bag under the sink habit. #BeDoLove #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud
Today I felt transported back to my childhood, to my teens, and then my young adult years. On a Sunday when Pop began cooking early and the delicious aromas filled the apartment. When I would visit from college and after I officially moved, one of my favorite requested Trinidadian meals was Cou-Cou, Stewed Fish (King or Red Snapper) or Salt Fish, Callaloo, and Fried Plantain.
Early December Pop requested to prepare this meal. However, after doing the shopping I was informed that the gas in the building would need to be shut off indefinitely. So as not to waste the Red Snapper (cause it cost a grip at Whole Foods), I seasoned it and off to the freezer it went. Well, the gas was FINALLY (Yeah, thatβs another story) restored a couple of days ago. And, wallah.
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Here we have Cou-Cou, Stewed Red Snapper, Callaloo, and Fried Plantain. You have to understand the significance of this moment as this is the first time Iβve ever prepared Cou-Cou and Callaloo. Yep! And, my brother Greg said βThis is better than a lot of places sis.β βYou ever thought about opening a restaurant?β You can cook sis. When you want to.β Yeah, cause Iβm not a consistent cooker.
What I know is Iβm a good watcher and cooking is in my blood after all with my Trinidadian and Bajan roots. My father and mother never gave me lessons, however, DNA and roaming in and out of the kitchen served me well.
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I would imagine Pop was watching over me today to give a measuring nudge here and there. However, for the Cou-Cou I did look up a Bajan recipe as their Cou-Cou (main ingredients are corn meal and okra) has a very nice texture. While seemingly simple, similar to grits, you can easily go left when preparing Cou-Cou. Itβs all about the proper liquid measurements and consistent stirring. And, I went out on a limb with the Callaloo, going from my memory of watching. Callaloo is spinach and okra with a piece of smoked Turkey. Pop would use pig tail. A cousin puts crab legs.
For my meal, the textures and the seasonings are perfect. And, the fact that the fish was marinating in its seasonings for a few weeks… Ooooo Weeeee!!! Tasty! Perhaps Iβll create a new tradition, and have this meal become my annual New Years Day meal in honor of Pop. Iβm sure heβd loved that. Bon Appetit! Enjoy! π§π§πΉπΉ #BeDoLove #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud #BeDoLoveSAVOR #BonAppetit #IChefToWriteAboutIt #BirthAndLiveYourSoulFULLPurpose #Yummylicious #Yummyliciousness #Foodie #FoodieLife #FoodPorn #ExpandYourPalate #Trinidad #Barbados #WestIndianFood #CaribbeanFood
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βCou-Cou consists mainly of cornmeal (corn flour) and okra (ochroes). Because these main components are inexpensive, the dish became common for many residents in Barbados’ early colonial history. Cou-Cou derives from the island’s African ancestry and was a regular meal for those slaves who were brought over from Africa to Barbados. Traditionally served on Fridays, Cou-Cou and flying fish is Barbados’ national dish. In Trinidad and Tobago, Cou-Cou (or coo-coo) is often prepared alongside Callaloo and either stewed or fried fish. In Ghana, a similar meal of fermented corn or maize flour eaten with okra stew and fish is known as banku, a favorite dish of the Ga tribe in Accra.β βWikipedia
Well, here we are. My brothers (Terence, Gregory, and Alec) and I had the honor of releasing our 91 years young father while at home Friday, December 25, 2020 around 4:05pm to depart and be with The Ancestors and to joyfully become our personal Angel!
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As my brother Greg put it, βPop went out like a manβs man.β Iβll add that Pop transitioned as the magical spiritual warrior that he is. Yes, Enric Quentin Boxill embarked on his new assignment on Christmas Day. βCHRISTMAS.DAY.YβALL!!!β As my dear friend and spiritual midwife La Tonia said βWhat an elegant departure is all I keep hearing… So classy!β
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How else is Pop magical? My brother Greg, witnessed Pop take his last breath at the same time I was logging on to our family Christmas Zoom gathering. It was perfect as being with family at that time allowed for the blow of his passing to not be so intense and dramatic. It was easy and graceful, just like him. And, if youβre wondering, we decided it was best to wait until after the zoom to share the news. My family says the Oscar should go to me.
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How else is Pop magical? Pop was a masterful OG charmer. The ladies (and men) loooooved Pop. When he was in the hospital followed by hospice care, the nurses loved taking care of him as he was easy, gracious, and often had them blushing. Well, as he was prepared to exit my place, it was done by whom? Women! The hospice nurse came to declare his death. Followed by two Black young ladies arriving from the funeral home to carry him off. My brothers were in awe after realizing no men were coming behind them to support them. I was like βPop is something else.β π€·π½ββοΈ
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Pop fought a good fight against cancer, going way past the time the doctors predicted. Pop had shown that βItβs Still a Wonderful Life,β despite the trials and tribulations. And, it is indeed well with his soul. Our family is so blessed and grateful to have had Pop here at least through this Christmas. God is awesome.
It will always be an honor to have been of contribution to Pop with providing a safe space for him to live and breathe. As my divine assignment has come to an end (with the exception of working on arrangements), I pray and desire that I too can live my life with the peace, the ability to inspire, ease, fun, wonder, love, and grace that Pop mastered. As my dear Bison friend and client, Marcia Watts said, βPop was living even as he was transitioning. Thatβs the lesson I got from him, is to live.β I pray and wish that for us all. As Pop would say, “Have a good day. Be safe. Don’t work too hard. Love!” Be blessed. Be grateful. Be safe. Be well. Enjoy. Peace. Live. Love. PS: Pop is being cremated. And, weβll inform of arrangements as they are developed. #BeDoLove #91YearsYoung #CareGiversMatter #CareGiver #CareGivers #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud
Pop has always had a love and appreciation for card giving. He and my mom both, selecting perfectly beautiful and thoughtful cards. An art form I am grateful to have inherited. (tee hee)
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Pop: I want to send Christmas cards.
Me: Okay. (Thinking thatβs nothing unusual.)
Pop: I want to take a picture.
Me: π Okay. (Seems like Pop has gotten comfortable with my picture taking. π)
Pop: (pause) That was easy. πππ
These beautiful cards were mailed to family and friends and received without delay.
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Our family is so blessed and grateful to have Pop here for another holiday season. God is awesome. Pop has shown that βItβs Still a Wonderful Life,β even as heβs gone toe to toe with cancer to live and love another and another and another day. Through it all, Pop is such a loving and dope example of how to walk with grace, perseverance, fun, laughter, thoughtfulness, ease, joy, and boundless love.
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Thank you all for being such a wonderful source of support for Pop, me, and the Boxill family, especially during this challenging year. We look forward to better days ahead in 2021 and to reunite with love and joy.
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During this holiday season, please love up on those who may be struggling, especially the caregivers in your life. Someone needs your love and support today and always, especially during this pandemic.
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Wishing you and your loved ones peace and joy during this holiday season and in the new year!
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β With all of our love and gratitude, Pop and The Boxill Family
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PS: Be blessed. Be grateful. Enjoy. Peace. Be safe. Be well. Love. #BeDoLove #91YearsYoung #CareGiversMatter #CareGiver #CareGivers #FindYourZen #LivingOutLoud