On this Christmas Day 2023, let’s toast and celebrate Pop (6/16/29-12/25/20) on the 3rd anniversary of his passing. As I look at the above picture, I miss Pop so so much, especially how he adored me. I’m also reminded of how he loved to share about moments in his life, which became more frequent when he entered the hospital in 2019 and until he passed. Some shares were quite revealing, some touching, many cleverly witty, some heartbreaking, and of course there were numerous that were educational as a result of his extensive knowledge.

With a tone of wonder, mixed with being perplexed and amused, Pop shared “Something happened when I was in the hospital. I use to be quiet. But, now I talk a lot.” He was right. Growing up my father was oftentimes a quiet man. I noticed that as he got older he talked more. Seemingly craving and being intentional about creating meaningful connections. The 2019 hospital stay before coming to live with me, especially after his two surgeries did something. And I too took notice wondering if a side effect of anesthesia is “prone to talk more.”

One of Pop’s shares during my caregiving time was very touching and revealing. He said that my going to college gave him life. His exact words were, “It saved my life.” WOW! My attending Howard University was not only my gift. But it was also a gift for Pop because his putting me through college gave him purpose. Imagine how I felt upon hearing that. My immediate reaction was feeling somewhat heartbroken for Pop as those years were at a time in his life where he was questioning his life as a man and his role as a father. However, my feelings of heartbreak quickly made room for gratitude and the understanding of God’s grace. It was a time of rebirth and redemption for Pop.

The interesting thing is, Pop came to live with me at a point in my life where I too was seeking more. Questioning my life of independence. Desiring purpose. Wanting to know that I matter. So while the caregiving journey was rough, my divinely ordered assignment to care for my father blessed me in beautiful and profound ways. With knowing he would be leaving us soon and time was precious, I was able to selflessly tap into places in my being that I didn’t know existed. Pop was now gifting me with purpose. Talk about the gift of paying it forward.

The thing is, you never know in what ways big or small you can be a blessing to another. You think your purpose may be tied to you being the giver. But oftentimes you may be unconsciously blocking the blessings by rejecting receiving. Someone’s purpose or feeling of mattering may require you to set your pride and/or independence aside with being a vulnerable yes. In turn, giving another purpose and restoring hope and love for them.

And if you’re the purpose seeker, be gentle with yourself. Your purpose may not look like another or be tied to some grandiose gesture or an act of saving the world. Trust in that you will be directed. So be open to receiving the message and ready to move on it. It could be tied to just a moment or second in time. An act of kindness. A hello, a call, an errand, or spending time with the person feeling invisible. A heartfelt embrace. Listening intently. Saying I love you. Don’t take those fleeting moments or your existence for granted. You matter. You just may be the gift a loved one or even a stranger needs to keep going. Your moment of purpose.

During this holiday season, please check in and love up on your people and especially those who may be struggling to include the caregivers in your life. Someone(s) needs your love and support today and beyond.

Wishing you and your loved ones peace and joy during this holiday season and in the new year! With all of my love and gratitude.

Be blessed. Be grateful. Be safe. Be well. Enjoy. Peace. Live. Love. And as Pop would say. “Have a good day. Be safe. Don’t work too hard. Love!” Rest in peace Pop. We love and miss YOU! #BeDoLove #CareGiversMatter #CareGiver #CareGivers #FindYourZen #BirthAndLiveYourSoulFULLPurpose #BeKind #YouMatter #LiveWithPurpose #ItIsWellWithHisSoul