After almost two months in the hospital to include a colostomy emergency surgery, colon cancer diagnosis, rehab, and gaining 9 mistresses, 5 adopted daughters, 3 adoptive sons, and loads and loads of admirers throughout Kingsbrook Hospital in my hometown Crown Heights, Brooklyn, Pop was released about a month ago. I immediately whisked him off to Maryland to live with me.
We struggled a bit to get the rhythm of changing the Ostomy bag. Not for the faint of heart, I tell you. It is truly a labor of love and one I had great trepidation about. Mishaps had me frustrated with some crying spells to one day I loudly called out to my beloved ancestors (my grandmother and Aunt Barbara) for help and guidance. And, I tell you within a few hours they guided me to a step I was missing. DUUUHHHH!!! 🤭
A week and a half ago I had to take Pop back to Brooklyn to deal with a situation which required a minor procedure. While it was a WTF moment it was also met with great humor. He had a colostomy prolapse where his stoma grew from the size of a golf ball to a three inch penis. I know. I know. 😳 The doctor described it similar to when you have a hemorrhoid and it comes out. Pop told my Aunt Vilma he was going to have a circumcision. 🤣🤣🤣 Gotta love his sense of humor which I see where I get mine from. Once again, he came through the surgery with flying colors. However, while there we received additional test results showing that the cancer is not only in his colon, but also his liver and lungs making it stage four.
🎶Don’t cry for us Argentina…🎶 No pity party here please. Shown by this picture, the sun continues to shine brightly on Pop. Pop is walking, singing, laughing, can fend for himself, doing his daily reading, crossword puzzles and wonderword in the New Post newspaper (Thankfully they carry it in my around the corner Giant.). He is truly a 90 year-old beautiful, spirited warrior of great strength. I am extremely grateful for that since I may be in a different place emotionally if not for it.
As we establish a new normal, decisions are to be made. So please pray for his continued strength. He’s continued peace and calm. Pray that the appropriate decisions will be made and those required (doctors, nurses, health insurance people, home care attendants, friends, family, etc., etc., etc.) to travel this road with ease, knowledge and compassion are divinely led to us. And, pray for my family and I for our peace, calm, patience, compassion, strength to include advocacy, and continued joy in ALL.OF.IT! And, pray and look out for others who are also in the phase of their lives where their parents require their support, assistance, and a very special kind of love.
There have been lessons upon lessons upon lessons through all this and I’m sure more to come. Some may say too much information “TMI” Kathryn. Could be embarrassed if they were going through something similar or their own THING. Well, I’ve dealt with enough pain, isolation, and sadness and ain’t got NO MORE time to suffer and suffocate in silence. Shame, pride, and it being all about how it looks kills the spirit. I get to share while being respectful and honoring my father, with the hope this touches someone in a way to know they aren’t alone in their situation, that they are loved, that there are people out there who can support them, and they too can share and LET.IT.OUT.AND.GO within their safe spaces. So, thank you for being my safe space. I’m going to come back as often as possible to share about Pop and what I’m learning whether personal lessons or those through navigating the layers upon layers of the health system.
Well, at Pop’s request I’m going to file his nails because grooming still matters to him. Get myself together to go get Pop’s newspaper and get his lunch ready. New normal. And, then go cheer on the Washington Mystics to a WNBA championship. Because, I get to still live, love, and laugh.
With that, Pop say’s “Have a good day. Be safe. Don’t work too hard. Love!”
And, the beat goes on. With good spirits. Gratitude! And, Love! #MorningPopTalk #BeDoLove