In honor of my dear friend Margo’s birthday today, I have a recent delightful experience to share. First let me provide the backstory. So back in the 1990s, Margo was an outreach worker for a medical study. She recruited me as well as several other TBS sorors and friends as the control subjects. When Margo moved on to other career opportunities, I (as well as some of her other committed recruits) remained in the study.
Since I think 1995, I might have only missed about three visits. At least, that’s what I thought. Well, a few weeks ago I had a study visit. And, what I didn’t realize until it was mentioned to me that day is I hadn’t been in almost three years. In my head, I thought it had been just over a year. But, I was reminded how time certainly has a way of getting away from us. It’s like me saying someone’s child is 12 and I find out they are now really 25 and about to get married. And, I’m left wondering “Goodness! Where did the time go?” What I also thought about since my recent visit is I think I hadn’t been since Margo transitioned in 2012. That realization had me wondering, “What is that all about?” Maybe some subconscious avoidance since I knew going would automatically have Margo become heavy on my mind and heart. Humph… Perhaps.
Well, during my recent visit, after one of my examinations the nurse practitioner says Margo is going to come in next. I say “Who’s coming in?”, because I’m thinking I know she didn’t just say, Margo. And, she repeats “Margo”. I paused as the emotions of her loss and missing her IMMEDIATELY consumed me, failing in my attempt to fight back the tears. Regardless of the heaviness of it all, I felt the desire to tell her about Margo and while doing so, the tears began to flow, almost also bringing the nurse to tears.
After only a short period of time passing by, the Margo spoken of enters the examination room and I jokingly say to her, “Did she warn you before you came in?”, (speaking of my meltdown) which proceeded with me also telling her about Margo. I loved being able to honor Margo and speak endearingly and lovingly about my gurl. Although Nurse Margo did not personally know my dear Margo, she actually was previously told about her and how loved she was by Margo’s previous colleagues who still work with the study. That was very nice and comforting to hear. Because, Margo was indeed one of those sweet, sweet souls that touched lives in very profound and gentle ways.
Fast forward to the night of that same Tuesday visit. I sent a text to a friend requesting their mailing address. The address is forwarded to me and I’m like you got to be kidding me. For a minute, I wondered if I was dreaming. Guess who at one time lived on the same street name (Lockwood Drive) in Silver Spring as my friend? YUP! Margo! (Sidebar: Actually for a good portion of her life, Margo was the queen of moving.) At that point I’m thinking in a matter of 12 hours Margo was in da house.
I’ve come to realize that it’s something beautiful that continues to keep me connected to Margo. I am so blessed and grateful that her presence is still felt in my life. This especially considering for a good portion of my life, Margo was like a sister to me (considering I don’t have one) as she was an active participant in many facets of my life.
My friend Sonya C. recently said that “Every spirit that comes, there is a purpose for it (their visit). So we must give thanks and give light to them so they may be elevated. Even now you still experience it (her presence as well as other ancestors). And, the more you honor what that is for them to show up, they will continue to come.” And, with that I am grateful for all of my ancestors/angels who visit me in my dreams (Thank you Grandma Mildred, Aunt Barbara, Ron, and Margo.) and during those serendipitous times when a conversation, song, animal, nature, etc. bring pleasant memories and comforting feelings with knowing they are still with me and guiding me. A believer that just because a loved one is no longer here in the physical doesn’t mean they are gone. Instead knowing that their spirits can still live on with beauty, love, fun, and guidance. All we have to do is trust, believe, and listen.
My gurl, road dog, and angel Margo is really making her presence known at a time when it has really mattered. Because, if there was any day I needed Margo’s light to shine brightly, it was within those 12 hours of a not just an ordinary day Tuesday. Thank you God! And, thank YOU Margo! You remain deeply embedded in the beating of my heart and love. We will always love YOU, uplift YOU, and miss YOU! Happy Birthday Love! Oh, and this year is the big “5.0.” for me. Come back and see me again real soon and let’s celebrate all year, hear! Please, and thank you. In the meantime, I’ll have a drinky drink in your honor. Cheers!
I’m wishing much love, healing, and peace to all who have lost loved ones. May the love and wonderful memories they created sustain and nurture you while providing warmth, love and smiles in your heart to carry you through. May you take time to honor them by sharing the beautiful memories of the essence of who they were (are) and the moments shared, which in turn creates joyful moments of love. And, may their beautiful and soaring spirit come to see you real soon, hear! All you have to do is trust, believe, and listen. Love! —kcb BeDoLove