I’m realizing more and more that in order to BE and have different, it’s up to me to DO different. 2015 was a year of deep reflection which included a heavy dose of therapy. Yep! I said therapy, which was (and will continue to be) an amazing experience. Getting real with oneself is imperative to a comprehensive healthy living lifestyle.
As I said goodbye to 2015 and hello to 2016, I rang in the New Year attending church. I hadn’t attended church on New Year’s Eve in yeeeeaaarrrsss. As of late church has represented death as I’ve been to more funerals than sometimes my heart can take. I wanted to switch up the pattern of what church was beginning to represent for me. I was happy to have listened and been guided to church on the eve by following the specially paved road to what awaited me. In order to BE and have different, it’s up to me to DO different. Ringing in the new year in church praising God and my life, and connecting with others through music, song, testimonies, and the good word was the perfect first step of LOVE for me as I entered the year of 2016.
What was cool is before church I first went out for dinner and a movie. How refreshing and different, this also was for me. It was just what the doctor ordered for my spirit. And, how refreshing it was to be in the company of a loving and supportive friend. You see, going into the new year in recent years wasn’t in a way that I set myself up for success. It was with sadness. I was hopeful and had faith (thank God for that which helped to sustain me) and I would eventually have a great year, but it was riddled with intermittent and sometimes often occurrences of pain based on the choices I was making for my life. Fast forward as I’m filled with gratitude and joy to be in a different and much healthier emotional, physical, and spiritual space TODAY. I’m grateful for the lessons learned. I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue evolving which I purposefully set out to do in the year of 2015. It’s actually what I set out to do every year, but in 2015, I got gangsta with it.
In 2015, I knew my life required a serious shift. My core was yelling out to me “WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS ISH TO ME?!?!” Therefore, it was apparent that a heavy dose of self-care and self-love was in order. I repeat in order to BE different I had to DO different. By that, I got real with myself declaring I couldn’t do it alone. And, as I pondered what would be the setting that would resonate with me to facilitate (this isn’t my fist self-discovery rodeo as I’ve done plenty of experiential trainings) my shift, I was strongly guided by my inner voice to therapy. And, as The Universe would have it as soon as I declared therapy it is, I received the perfect therapist recommendation. And, although scary, I went all in (okay, sometimes there was resistance) to further self-discovery, acceptance, healing, growth, and change. I thought I was just going in with the purpose of flushing out what I already knew, but oh the things I’ve learned along the way. Sooooo many “aha moments” that date back to before I was born, to childhood, to my young adult life, to now. And, although sometimes hard to realize and talk about, it’s always been quite refreshing to process and take one more step further in my healing to my rebirth.
Interesting, though, as I’ve been reminded in recent weeks, is that the road to forgiveness, healing, self-discovery, and growth is never-ending. There are layers and layers to be explored and decoded. Triggers (whether seen or unseen) continue to greet me in a “you really didn’t think I was done with you” arrogant and surprise gut-punching way. I have my moment(s), yet I prevail better equipped to process my feelings and firmly exclaim you (thoughts/person) no longer are allowed to take up residence in my existence while depleting my spirit, stunting my growth, and stealing my joy. “Miss me wit dat.” And, “Grace” became my word of choice often whispering it to myself before and during those times when pain could have been the prevailing expression. I fell in love with “Grace” for it saved me many a day in keeping me sane and focused. I fell in love with “Grace” so much so that I’ve thought if I had a daughter; “Grace” would be her middle name. First name Brooklyn of course. Presenting a nice balance of funk and calm.
So I once again entered 2016 hopeful and with faith. This time exhaling breaths of lightness. Mission accomplished. As my man Ron would say, “Good job!” So good to make a declaration (what I promised myself in 2015), see it though, and reap the rewards to a revolution.
2016 is a big year for me. The year of “50”. I’m so excited to celebrate life among the living, as many have passed on. I’m grateful to be doing it in style and good health. I’m also excited with the thought of continuing to get to know and love up on Kathryn and watch her soar. She’s pretty cool and special.
Happy New Year my lovelies. This new year I charge you with healing, growing, and having fun while accomplishing it. One size doesn’t fit all, so, however, it works for you just do it. The world is waiting for YOU! You’re waiting for YOU! God is waiting for YOU to live in a way you’ve been divinely ordered here right at this time, in this moment to live with purpose and BeDoLove. Wishing you too an abundance of love, joy, peace, prosperity, fun and laughter, and a healthy emotional, physical and spiritual core. May you glide through life with love and light. I love you. ONWARD!!! Namaste. BeDoLove –kcb
PS: Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my http://www.BeDoLove.com blog. What an exhilarating joy it’s been to share my thoughts with love and transparency. I hope you’ve been inspired to LIVE and LOVE! Thank you!
You are pretty, cool, and special. Happy anniversary! Thank you.
Thanks so much Clay. You’ve been ride or die since day one. I love and miss you.