Giver or Taker? – Time To Check Yourself

Giver or Taker♪♪Givers are going to giiiiive. And, takers are going to taaaake.♪♪ Yeah I woke up this beautiful August Sunday with a R. Kelly like song in my heart. Goodness, it’s already August.

Who are my givers out there? Show of hands. You. Okay, you. OH! You too. Okay, I see you in the back reluctant to raise your hand. Is it the shame of your unappreciated and often reckless giving that now has you burnt, bruised, and depleted of the free expression of love you once knew? A heart that once overflowed with a giving, free flowing, and selfless love. A heart that is now as coarse as a Saudi Arabia desert sand that is the catalysts of a profusely sweating, disoriented, breathless you who now feels like a how did I get here used up fool.

Oh, lovely it’s okay. We’ve all been there. Yes, me too. And, I’m here to tell you it’s not too late to replenish your spirit. To be free again. To trust again. To attract those into your space, that will receive your gifts of love with grace and gratitude. Then reciprocated back to you two-fold and effortlessly from another love being that gets that they too were placed on this earth to be THE GIFT to you, and you and you too! You know how the Universe can and will do.

GIVERS!!! Yeah, I’m talking to you. Okay, wait a minute. You need to listen to this. Time for you to wake up and lift that self-inflicted blinding fog and hear me out like a loud fog horn that’s sounded to alert, wake you up, and guide you to safety. What are afraid to not see? What are you afraid to not BE? GIVERS!!! It’s up to YOU to be conscious and awake to know when you’re being taken and used! Because, most takers are not able to access the situation and question whether they are a giver or taker in a moment, and instead shift with love. It’s not in the takers handbook titled “I Take Therefore I Am”. Because when they are in it to win it at all cost, THEY ARE IN IT. Because, their Ego somehow has convinced them that they deserve everything that comes to them even at the expense of breaking down another’s spirit.

Keep in mind that takers are not one dimensional. Some may think that unhealthy taking only involves taking one’s money or gifts. You know those material types of things. Like this months rent from the sugah daddy or sugah momma whose looking for any bit of love and a caressing back rub. Even if it’s a lie “You know baby that I love.” Or the conceited flexing and flossing of a red bottom shoe purposely sashaying through the club looking for the first OG posted up in the corner popping bottles. Just as fast as the blink of a batted eye it can all disappear at that moment when the late night clock gongs and that sexy shoe has now turned into an ugly toothless crackhead pumpkin. KARMA! BEWARE: Real crafty takers have an art of thanking you and telling you how grateful they are only to return eventually and sh*t on you with their actions, and I’m better than you words. Be prepared.

Real talk! Taking can also occur on an emotional and physical level. Verbal abuse. Physical abuse. Financial abuse. Or how about this. It could also be that you’re always there for someone. However, they are like a thief in the midst of a cold, heartless night. They being unavailable when you need them most with a compassionate ear while exhaling over a glass of wine or with a ride to the emergency room as you are looking to heal your unfulfilled, damaged and broken heart.

Givers it’s up to YOU to govern yourselves accordingly. First know your BOUNDARIES! Access what feels good versus what doesn’t. Listen to your spirit because it is your voice that is there to love you and guide you. You know when your gut/intuition is screaming out to you singing ♪♪Stop the love you save may be your own.♪♪ Be COURAGEOUS enough to SPEAK UP and voice your feelings, concerns, and boundaries. Perhaps a verbal declaration is not necessary. Making a pact with yourself and acting accordingly could be enough to move forward. ALERT: Understand that most takers will not understand your change of heart. Let’s face it, you gave to them so long that it has become their normal pick-me-up first thing in the morning cup of Joe. So be prepared for them to victim you. They will cleverly confuse, shame, and guilt you to have you feel bad. And what else? They will make it about them as they continue their quest to take more and more and more. This will be where you will have to decide what is more important to YOU. Is it more important to give to someone that does not LOVE and APPRECIATE you? All because of the fear that they might vamoose out of your life to another waiting in the wings looking for love in all the wrong places being. Or because you don’t believe a true love being, whether they may be a lover, friend or family member can come along and fill a void, but this time lovingly and with compassion and gratitude.

I’m almost done here, but I first must ask you this. How can you attract and truly love another who also lovingly loves you if you don’t even know how to love and care for you? I know. I know. You as a giver, love and care a great deal about them. I get it. But, what about YOU? Are you your own taker? You must know that YOU deserve YOU too. The peaceful, joyful, fun, and loving YOU. Trust me. I understand the fear. But, the moment you start to take care of you, be true to you, and love up on you, you’ll start to experience a shift. You will begin to attract to your life those love beings and things that the Universe has ALWAYS had waiting for YOU. You deserve to be the loving giver and nurturer to you too so that you can be a healthy giver to others. So I ask again, “What about YOU?” You have it in YOU. It’s okay to CHOOSE YOU! TRUST YOU! TRUST Mother, Father, God, The Universe! And, KNOW it will, and you will be just fine. Time to be CONFIDENT! Be BOLD! Be FEARLESS! Be AUTHENTICALLY LOVING! Time to BeDoLoveGIVE! –kcb

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  1. Bucket fillers giving you joy and bucket dippers stealing your joy. After giving and giving and being and being we must learn to sharpen our saw-habit 7 of the Seven Habits. Got to do for you while doing for others.

      1. Be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek first to understand then to be understood, synergize, sharpen the saw.

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